The Fiver | Nonentities more exercised by manners than kids with empty bellies

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It’s been a productive week for the Premier League’s representatives in Europe. Sergio Agüero became only the 14th person since football was invented in 1992 to reach the 40-goal mark in Big Cup. Chelsea and Liverpool rediscovered the thrill of basic competence, both keeping a clean sheet for the first time in living memory, a strange yet pleasant sensation. And after dressing up as a dazzle ship and performing some orchestral Man U-vres in the Parc, Marcus Rashford ambled back home and set about effortlessly exposing the government as a shower of soulless two-bit nonentities more exercised by manners than kiddies with empty bellies. That MBE isn’t going to buy him off, is it. The Man’s misread this guy big time.

Related: José Mourinho insists his team are not ‘Spursy’ before fresh Europa League tilt

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