Self-Promotion & Social Media for the Socially Anxious
First of all? I don't have the secret to this. Yet. I'm working on it, but it's been on my mind a lot and I wonder how many others face the same thing and struggle with the same battle.
I made the conscious decision to self-publish after a lot of consideration, weighing pros and cons, debate and so forth. I knew that no matter what I did, however, whether it was self-publishing or traditional publishing that I would have to market myself. I also knew that this was going to be my weak spot. Sadly, I was right. (Go figure, huh?)
Really, I'm a nice girl. I'm a writer who writes reasonably enjoyable books, if you like vampires and werewolves and such. But I'm also a girl who is terrified, terrified, of doing the wrong thing, or pissing people off/alienating people. And the lines in promoting yourself are so thin between what works and what annoys people that it puts someone like me in a start of perpetual hyperventilation.
What's a girl to do?
Work hard. Work slow. Work thoughtfully.
I'm not trying to be an overnight sensation. In fact, I don't want to be. I'd love to be a happy mid-list author. My goal is to eventually release some books that actually cost something and make some money at it. That'd be great, but I really just want people to read my stuff and enjoy it. To enjoy the worlds I create.
Okay, but enough of that. Work hard! Work slow!
No one who fights the type of anxiety battles that I do is going to be able to dive in hard and fast without a heavy prescription for an anti-anxiety medication. (Which I'm not on, hence the harder work.) But that doesn't mean it's impossible. You just build yourself little by little.
Open up your social media accounts, watch and learn from what other people do. Jump out, peck at the dirt, jump back in. (Yes, this is a little bird metaphor. Go with me.) Send a few innocuous tweets. Post a little fun thing here and there on FB. Badger friends and family as the only people you're comfortable nagging to get you going.
Do you open up the Goodreads groups page and see all those groups with hundreds of people and quake with fear? (Oh, that's just me?) Or look at any other massive forum site and just turn and run? (This can't just be me.) Find one that's nicely small, suited to what you want, and then join. Be scared for a while. Introduce yourself. Hide under a blanket. Join a thread. Breathe deep.
One thing that has gained me a couple very nice writer friends is to, well, support the community. I got their stories on Smashwords, read them and wrote what I thought were thoughtful reviews and Followed on Twitter, as applicable. (Shout outs to Calista Taylor, Josh Langston, Shalini Boland and Lindsay Buroker for being nice to me.)
One thing I will say is that if you're a writer like I am, you may need to spend a little money on promotion for someone to help you out, like someone to help with a blog tour or an author's network.
I'd advise some, but I'm just researching them myself now. But I think I will not escape this entirely free. I understand totally about being on a poor-writer budget, but if you're not good at diving in, some help may be called for. More on this later if I find some that work for me.
My final thought on the matter is as such: in general, when it comes to promotion, we all actually learned what we need to know in elementary school: play nice, share, take turns, follow directions (like if a site says don't self-promote, or do it a certain way, listen!) and don't be mean.
You can do all this, and promote yourself, when you're terrified of people. It just takes a little more time and perseverance. I'll let you know how it goes as I get there, but I will get there!
I just might need a paper bag to breathe into as I do. 
