The ORGASM Series: 10 Things Husbands Who Are Great Lovers Do

What do husbands who care about their wife’s pleasure and their wife’s orgasm actually do?

We’re in the middle of our orgasm series, culminating in the release of our Orgasm Course next Monday (Yay!). Katie’s frantically editing the last of the videos, and Rebecca’s getting the workbook all finished (my part is already done!).

And last week we were talking about how some men don’t always understand what it takes for women to orgasm.

Today I wanted to do something different.

I wanted to share with you what the To Love, Honor and Vacuum readers say to gush over husbands who ARE great lovers.

I asked on Facebook and Instagram: What do husbands who are great lovers actually do?

For women whose husbands are awesome, generous lovers: What does your husband do that helps you have fun in bed/relax in…

Posted by To Love, Honor and Vacuum on Friday, October 16, 2020

And we had such awesome responses! The vast majority of the things that women said didn’t actually relate to what happened in the bedroom. So I’ll share those ones first, and then share the bedroom ones!

(And incidentally–PLEASE follow me on Instagram! I’m trying to get to 10,000 followers so it will be easier to get the word out about our book when it releases. I’m 64% of the way there!)

Outside the bedroom, what do men who are great lovers do?
He talks to me

Intimacy begins before sex! So many women talked about the quality of their relationships outside the bedroom:

We have intellectual intimacy. Our favorite date to do is to go for a walk together with some coffee and talk about everything, then come back home and while our girls are gone, we hit the sheets.

2. He makes me feel loved in everything he does

The attitude of these husbands towards these wives was always one of love and care.

He loves me unconditionally.. and wants me happier than he wants himself. He is the best.

I think the biggest thing he does is treat me with respect at all times. I know I’m first in his life and he makes me feel cared for, loved, desired and appreciated.

3. He touches me in non-sexual ways–snuggles me, etc.

This was likely the second most mentioned thing–that guys TOUCHED their wives a lot.

We are a very affectionate couple, kissing often, holding hands, we cuddle and fall asleep wrapped in his arms every night.

He spends a lot of time holding me and kissing me. He’s affectionate outside the bedroom and this helps a lot because I don’t feel used when we finally do make love.

He loves snuggling with me. It takes the pressure off but can also be a nice lead in to something more. He also always asked what I want

4. He is my partner, and he’s there beside me for the kids and for the house

Nothing’s sexier than a guy who doesn’t take his wife for granted, but who feels like a genuine partner! It helps women transition from “mom” mode to “wife” mode if he’s in the trenches with her.

Help or take over “rush hour” (dinner bath bed routine with children), regular date nights that range from a cuppa together to going out never with the aim of a chandelier swingin rumpy pumpy, just aiming for intimacy. He compliments me, prays for me and is unfailingly kind. NONE of these things, you’ll notice, are to do with what goes on in bed but his behaviour sure makes it easy for me to respond to him – I’m working on initiating more, we have seven children and number eight is on the way, plus I’ve got a bit of baggage from DV + emotional neglect in childhood. It’s not always smooth sailing! I can’t overstate the affect his kindness and gentleness have had on our marriage (I’ve also endeavoured to respect and encourage him, too). My heart breaks for wives who have harsh, immature or indifferent husbands.

He takes care of me and our children outside the bedroom, which makes my heart swell with love and caring for when we get into our bedroom.

Want to Experience that Orgasm Breakthrough?

Sign up to my email list so you don't miss the launch of The Orgasm Course--and the specials that will be on during Launch Week!

Sign me up!



















5. He makes me feel beautiful

Many women have body image issues which stop them from being able to truly let go during sex. But when men build up their wife’s self-esteem, passion can flow!

When I’m critical of myself (aging, changing body), he always says I’m too hard on myself. So I genuinely believe he sees beauty in me, even when I don’t. So then, I have to choose to BELIEVE him.

He’s an alpha male, and constantly telling me how much he loves my big booty!