Readings Not Included in the Wedding

So I got married to the lovely and talented Heather. And people probably thought we'd write our own vows being writerly types--no way, too much pressure, so we went traditional. But we did have ideas about readings. We ultimately decided against them for many reasons. Here are a couple I was advocating for:
From Jack Pendarvis's Awesome, one of the characters says: A few years later I said to Glorious Jones [his wife:], Remember when I rubbed pumpkin pie filling all over my face and nobody...