Reawakening my Love for Writing

Writing — with power & intention — helped me to see the truth in myself before I ever respected these art forms for what they were.

Every day after school I would run up to my mother’s room and plop myself down into a seat facing the only computer in our home, to continue working on poems and stories I had started days before.

I would get lost in the world of writing for hours.

Every summer, we would board a Greyhound bus to visit my cousins in Brampton, Ontario and I would spend the 4-day trip scribbling rhymes in my notebook.

EVERY YEAR, the students in my elementary school could expect to see a young black boy ecstatic to be performing legendary rap songs like “Can’t Touch This” in the annual talent show.

Perhaps it was the ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul’ books I spent so much time reading that first showed me the power in thoughts, emotions, and aligned actions.

I’ve always seen storytelling as a source of power to tap into whenever I needed inspiration.

Whenever I didn’t believe there was a way out or didn’t surrender to the fantasies of imagination — stories would always bring me home and show me the truth.

Subconsciously, I had created an attachment with writing that served as a safe haven. No matter what challenges made me feel stagnant and confused or responsibilities that made me feel unworthy and ill-equipped; putting that pen to paper provided the slightest seam to slip through and create a new, empowering understanding of my circumstances.

Holding that pen was like wielding a sword for me.

That’s how I knew it would stay with me my whole life. The writing that is, not the sword.

Losing Touch

As I transitioned to adolescence, I picked up a different sword. Sports, football, in particular, would now be fighting chance for glory and also my refuge.

I began to see writing as a whimsical hobby that now needed to be replaced with as much work that could fill my schedule. If I were going to make it professionally, I needed to pour all my energy into football. So, for 10 years, I said goodbye to writing.

Throughout this period of time, I kept my emotions bottled up. I didn’t express myself the way I so naturally loved to as a child. Instead, I was filled with anger, guilt, and intense sorrow that I refused to show to the world.

But the funny thing about passion is that it never leaves you. In fact, it finds and empowers you when you need it the most.

After a breaking point that resulted in violence and isolation, I decided to dive into my notebooks as I once used to. All my pent up emotions flowed out of me and onto the page, creating poetic narratives around my life story.

When I read these creations aloud, it instilled a sense of power within me that I hadn’t felt in so long I felt nervous handling it.

“Is this too vulnerable of me to say?”

“Do I sound too cocky talking this way?”

These questions of “being too much” for the adult world swirled in my mind and almost prevented me from sharing my art with a broader audience.

It was the courage to stand in my truth and encourage others to do the same, that pushed me to the stage.

It was the respect I had gained for myself, my journey, and my craft that bestowed me with perseverance.

And it was the unexpected confirmations from others (and God/The Universe) that helped me to accept this craft as an integral part of my purpose.

Approach the Trail

Art, in any form, is a very deep practice that requires the truth from all who participate. If we can’t sit with the truth, our art will become skewed and inauthentic.

Art brings the artist to the bounds of their perceived limitations and leads us through a journey transformation.

Art asks us to walk into the unknown and create a way out.

It reminds us that at all times, we have our creative ability to bring light to where there is darkness.

Art restores any lost trust within ourselves.

Therefore, trust is the ultimate virtue of reawakening the Creator power we all hold within.

Writing is the first step to harnessing it.

Reawakening my Love for Writing was originally published in C.R.Y on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.