Uvoomu (The Devil)

Slurdoch the Sorcerer Covid Zombies

Uvoomu (The Devil)

Name: Uvoomu, The Devil

Species: Unofiend

Age: ∞

Job: Overfiend/ outsourcing specialist / mega-bastard

Appears In: Game of Plagues

The Devil - an entity with ten eyes, two mouths, and a forked tail

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The hells of the Nezherealm contain more horrors than a Saturday night TV schedule. For the most part, fiends exist as reflexive beasts of wicked indulgence. Some of them possess sentient-like intelligence, though, and with sentient-like intelligence comes the hideousness of hierarchies. Uvoomu - or 'The Devil' - sits atop one of these like a seagull atop a mountain of pigeons.

Many think Uvoomu rose to the rank of overfiend by having the smarts to brand himself 'The Devil'. Others note he worked in partnership with the mega-successful god who calls himself 'Deity'. In the past Deity accepted mana to keep The Devil off people's backs while Uvoomu encouraged agnostics into belief with his legions of horror - a setup you'd now refer to as a 'racket'.

In recent years The Devil has improved the fortunes of the Nezherealm by winning a series of government contracts. It surprises some to learn that Pundlia outsources its disability assessment programme to the forces of darkness. It does not, of course, shock anyone who's made an application.

You can buy Game of Plagues in eBook or paperback by clicking this link

Uvoomu famously has five sets of eyes. He only opens one at a time - the five including his:

Friendly Eyes: These look basically human. Uvoomu will generally start a meeting with them to lull people info a false sense of security.Cat Eyes: This set pops open when Uvoomu wants you to know he's up to something. Also have famously good night vision.Shark Eyes: When things get dark, Uvoomu pops the shark peepers open. Famously soulless and dead, like those of a middle manager.Demon Eyes: As soon as he opens these malevolent view-balls, everyone surrounding Uvoomu finds themselves overwhelmed by the sound of millions of screaming victims. Generally he reserves these for closing a deal or catching a waiter's attention.Galaxy Eyes: Each eye is a miniature black hole. It's difficult to describe what they look like because they'll suck you in before you get chance to even think about describing them.

Uvoomu also has two mouths. In days gone by he used one to speak the truth and the other to tell lies. Once people cracked which was which, however, he dropped the gimmick. He now speaks through both with one at a slight delay.

An unflattering and anatomically incorrect depiction of The Devil giving it large to a physician

Despite communion with fiends being illegal, entities like Uvoomu crept into public life by making themselves indispensable to the rich and important. The Devil did this by running a series of off-realm banking agencies. By banking with Uvoomu, elites could hide their vast wealth where the taxman couldn't touch it – namely the Nezherealm.

As a result of this setup, Uvoomu didn't just shelter people's money – he also protected their secrets. This put the elites in a bad situation. Because when Uvoomu wants more – and fiẻnds always, always want more – they can hardly say no, can they?

Depraved elites hunger like skeletons at a banquet. It's a greed that The Devil can work with.

Creation Notes

I'm pretty sure the UK benefits system has been run by the literal devil for the past decade, so this isn't even satire, honestly.

Not sure where the 'ten eyes' or 'two mouths' ideas came from. If you can think of something I'm missing, please let me know! It certainly seems like the sort of thing to have popped up in some bit of folklore or other.