Laughed Myself Out of a Job! Literally.

 Yeah, so there I was, minding my own business. You know I do that, right? I mind my own business all the time, and look what happens? I get fired!  Well, actually, since I was only technically working a temp assignment for a friend, and I wasn't even thinking or hoping of working for the company with anything resembling longevity, my assignment was "terminated".  How? Good question!

About a month ago I was again, minding my own business, laying about the house writing in my journal when the phone rang. The voice on the other end belonged to Kevin, a recruiter for an employment agency that my daughter Laura was registered with. I think I may have been registered with them about 20 years ago, but the call came in for me, not for my daughter. Laura was already working a long term assignment. I was enjoying being off work for the summer and living off of income I had squirreled away earlier in the year. To my calculations I had at least another four months to lounge about in my jammies reading books on Scotland which included my New Testament which was translated into the Scots language. Believe me when I tell you, I laugh my silly head off going over what the disciples said to Jesus and how he answered them. It's very different from what He said to them in my King James version of the Gospel.

Kevin was panicking saying he couldn't find anyone to take on a desperate assignment that may last up to two weeks. He had placed three (3) separate people into the role but each of them had bailed on him after being in the position less than one (1) hour each. One girl walked in, saw the work, shook her head and cussed Kevin on the phone when she called him back to let him know she was no one's slave! WHAT? What in the world was Kevin asking of these people and why was he calling me to help?  Kevin needed someone who (in his words) was mature enough regarding the importance of filing things in their proper place; he needed someone who was durable, steadfast, dedicated, bull-headed and saw a challenge as an opportunity. Kevin needed a Scorpio woman...Kevin called me.

Seeing how the job was literally only a couple of weeks, and it paid something I could squirrel away for later, I decided to agree to take on the assignment. How bad could it be?  I took photos.  I sent these photos to Kevin's email with an emoji crying its eyes out laughing. ARE YOU SERIOUS KEVIN? Mounds and piles upon mounds of piles of papers to be filed; mostly filed one or two at a time. It was going to take a least a month to get to the bottom of this mess and that's if they agreed to leave me alone in the file room and give me full autonomy to restructure, plan, strategize and create a full scoped plan on how this was going to happen. Not only were the mounds insufferable, but the existing files inside the drawers were often found to be out of order! WHO does that? Challenge accepted. I've got this.

Ken Jones was the "boss" at what we'll call CSC - he has been with the company two decades and has made his way to being called the Director of Operations. My first line of questioning with Ken was to ask how the files became so disorganized and I asked him how long they've been in such a state. His answer was that he couldn't keep anyone in the file room long enough to make heads or tails of it, and needed it to be straightened out. He wanted to know if I wanted the job permanently. "Ken," I told him, "you can't afford me sweetheart. I'm not a file clerk. I hold a Ph.D. in Administration, own my own business, and am here only as a favor to a friend. I will however straighten this mess up, and we'll see if I can have Kevin find you a good honest soul to keep it moving once I've ironed it out straight."  He agreed. 

As the month passed and the piles dwindled many CSC employees watched from the far corners through the windows in the doors leading to the file room. I literally barred them all from coming into the room unless they had a definite need to be in MY room. I had work to do, and they didn't need to mess up my chaos. I had piles stacked in so many places with need of being refiled, labeled, put into date order, pulled and stored in boxes, and literally if they were over 6 years old, they were going to be destroyed. This was my room, my domain, my project, my rules. If they didn't like it they could call someone else. I had books I could be reading. They knew this. Ken knew this.  He kept everyone (except Summer and Rylan, and of course himself at bay).  

While I worked I danced. I danced and I filed. Filed and dance, swirling, twisting, moving, bending, pulling, stacking, dancing, you get the picture. I burned several hundreds of calories while filing and was the source of entertainment for most of the employees from one curious salesman to the CEO, receptionist, warehouse worker, it didn't matter, they all made their way up to the file room to see the new file clerk - to watch the new file clerk.  Summer, Rylan, and of course Ken, came in from time to time to talk time. Ken because he was the boss, Rylan because he was the janitor and needed to clean things, and Summer because she was also a temp and thought they ask her to take over the position after I had straightened it out; she was correct in her assumption. She became like a daughter to me, Rylan my new baby son. I had more than a purpose and reason to get up each morning. It wasn't about the filing, it was about these two now. They needed love. I have love in spades, so I gave it away.

After 5 weeks of work the filing was complete and Ken asked me to stay just a while longer to help with a new project that again, was left unattended for literally months causing an incredible backlog of work for the next person who, if they hired another temp, would no doubt do a half-assed job leaving the project in want again. Yes, I'll do that too Ken, as long as I can be in Summer's office where we can talk and listen to music, dance, and have mother to daughter conversations....he agreed. What else was he going to do? He needed to the work done and there was little hope of making that happen!  I was in Summer's office three (3) hours before a witchy bitchy office mole named Cindy decided Summer and I were simply too happy for there to be any actual work to be completed. Cindy complained and Ken told her to mind her own business! Thank you Ken!

The next day (yesterday) I found that Ken had moved me out of Summer's office and onto the sales floor with the five or six others who had open air cubicles who were making calls and generating leads for product sales. Ken thought it would be best if I made my calls from the "floor" so as not to distract Cindy in any possible way, and yes, he wanted to be sure Summer was on task as well. Even though while I was in her office we both worked, we both laughed, and joy was being brought to the office again! God forbid JOY be brought anywhere near the curmudgeon Cindy!   After about my fortieth call to alert customers that their tax exempt card(s) were/was expired, and asking them to please e-mail me a copy of their new card, Ken approached me and said "I can't believe you're reaching so many people. We don't usually have such success, what are you doing?"  My answer was, that I was being polite. I don't know what anyone else may have tried in the past, but I was using good old fashioned Southern charm, calling and leaving messages, and of course they'd call me back when they realized I wasn't calling to ask them to pay me what was owed on an invoice.  We talked. I met many good people and obtained promises of tax exemption renewals -- because I was asked to do so. That was my job.

At 10:15 a.m. yesterday morning Kevin called me. He let me know that Human Resources had called him and asked that my assignment be terminated. The reason was given that I was having too much fun and distracting the other sales people. Mind you, I wasn't dancing, I wasn't singing, I wasn't even twirling in my chair. I was making calls, meeting customers, talking with customers, and reiterating good customer service!  I accepted my closure with the same professionalism that I did when I was on-boarded, I smiled, and I simply reported to Ken to let him know I was being terminated. He was devastated! He was my supervisor, he had not made any complains. The sales people were queried and no one had made a complaint, in fact, it was quite the opposite! (GUESS WHO COMPLAINED!! It was Cindy!)  

Ken and I talked for a few minutes in his office with the door closed. He called Summer in so she could get a hug, and then he called Kevin himself, so as to give me the best reference possible. Kevin thanked him and noted that he knew there was something a foot, that no one really complains about someone being happy unless they truly are miserable; Cindy is beyond miserable. I've decided to pray for her rather than become angry with her. She can't help it, she's suffocating from depression and low self esteem. It must be a terrible thing to face every morning when you wake up and every night when you lay down. I choose joy! I choose to dance. I choose to love.  Well, as it turns  out Summer will in fact take over the tax exempt project and clear it up so she can start on the filing upkeep and maintenance. She'll be a good warrior for CSC and maybe someday Cindy will realize she can win more hearts with joy than she can with fear. 

What's my take away?  I met Rylan, shared Christ with him, and I met Summer and shared some good motherly advice. I'm good. I'm ready for the next thing Jesus has in store for me.