THE SHADOWS

There is this little shadow that lurks inside the light. Like an impossible shadow that shouldn’t exist because of all the light.

It carries with it energy and it looks for thoughts it can eat so it can grow. It likes negative thoughts the most but it can sustain itself on little frustrating or nagging thoughts long enough to find something more satisfying. Mostly it loves fear. Fear is good because it can be turned into anger, insecurities, and hatred.

That shadow… it exists inside all of us. And while it’s hard to control our inner voice. What kind of information, news, conversations we feed ourselves is important. It’s like an exercise in self control.

Don’t participate in conversations with people who intentionally make you feel small. Don’t be with someone who does things to make you feel less than or less important than everyone else.

You don’t have to care about everything and you can’t battle everyone.

I have been off my meds for well over a year and I worried about feeling small and left out. That shadow was giddy with excitement that I’d soon be searching for ways to hate myself and my contribution to the world. It happens but I’ve learned enough to go to war with it so it isn’t as all consuming these days.

Now I know the shadow is lurking and that the light I feed myself won’t dissolve it. But I’m sure as hell not going to intentionally feed it.

Here is a cute picture of mushrooms my daughter drew at work. Everyone has been adding to it as they see fit. The shadow hates this picture because it makes me so happy!

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