Hello! ❣️ I would like to ask you 1,3,4,5,11,13 about my favourite fanfiction EVER Rebuilding Rome :)

Ooooo, lots of questions! This is going to take me awhile, haha! Thank you for liking this dark, difficult story of mine so much!

Editing to add a link, in case anyone wants to read this one. Spoilers ahead for anyone who hasn’t! Rebuilding Rome can be read here! 

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

So, okay: I knew this would be a dark story going in. I figured it would be painful to write and painful to read, and I think that’s probably a fair statement now that it’s finished. What I wanted to achieve was a story that would REALLY fix the many, many underlying issues between Sherlock and John, and for that, you just have to plunge hard into what those problems were (/are) and what a real fix to them might look like. I figured it would need to be a bumpy road, with a couple of false starts. I figured that it would need to get worse before it could get better. The layers of issues have just been compounded as the series have gone on, with each new series ignoring the unresolved issues of the past series and just adding more of them. At this point, a relationship between these two just can’t even happen without addressing and fixing a huge amount of stuff, so that’s what this story was intended to accomplish. 

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

Oh man! That’s so hard! It’s a 90K word fic! :P Um…. okay. After wracking my brain a bit, I came up with this little chunk, which comes from the end of chapter 7, after John’s major breakdown in the bathroom. To me, this is the turning point of the story, when John manages to pick himself back up instead of just giving up, and finds the will to go back into the bedroom and try again: 

John hugs him closer, shutting his eyes and drowning in relief and gratitude that Sherlock is even letting him do this. Maybe all hope isn’t lost. Maybe this was the first step forward, into the abyss of navigating a relationship out of such a chequered and difficult past. He’ll call Ella tomorrow, he decides then and there. She’ll help them. But for now, holding Sherlock is the only thing he can possibly do, and he’s grateful that he’s able to do it. He can feel Sherlock’s heart beating, too quickly, just as his was, his chest heaving, and wonders if he’s crying. (Please, God, no!) The very thought makes John’s own eyes wet again and he tightens his arm around Sherlock. Sherlock responds by squeezing his long fingers around John’s, and for now, at least, it feels like acceptance.

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

Possibly this one, from chapter 4: 

Sherlock makes a decision. “Nonsense,” he says, his voice as tender as he can make it. “If you can’t hold yourself up, then let me help. Let me hold you up – just for now.”

5: What part was hardest to write?

Definitely the early stages, of John coming to the realization that he’s both been the subject of abuse himself, and become both an abuser and a negligent parent in turn. Also, both of their failed first attempts at sex and all of the pain and awkwardness surrounding them! Much as I love writing angst, it nonetheless takes a toll, you know? 

11: What do you like best about this fic?

I think the notion of plunging all the way into the dark and muck of their issues and somehow still finding the way out to the other side of it all, you know? I like getting them to a place of genuinely having openly acknowledged and started real work on their problems and found their way to an imperfect, maybe, but ultimately happy ending where they really can and do love each other. :)

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

Ah, I’m in a definite minority here! For me, music is too strong an external element to add to a story. It’s like “garnishing” a food with a whole other food. It makes it a different experience altogether. I’m someone who believes in writing in silence and reading in silence. (See my name, lol!) 

Thanks for all the questions! And again, for liking this story so much!!