WIP Diagnostic: Is This Working? A Closer Look at Developing POV in an Opening Scene

Critique By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

WIP Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to WIP Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines. 

Submissions currently in the queue: Two

Please Note: As of today, critique slots are booked through September 26.

This week’s questions:

1. What does/doesn’t work with this as an opening scene?

2. Does how the character feels come across?

3. Does it have a good enough hook to want to read more?

4. Does it show instead of tell?

Market/Genre: Inspirational Romantic Suspense

Note: This is the third pass for this submitter. If you’re curious to see how this has developed, here’s submission #1, and submission #2. 

On to the diagnosis…
Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com