I’ve Fallen…

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Over the last few months I have slowly been focusing more and more of my time on world issues.

When COVID took the headlines I researched the findings. I read of the mask or no mask debate. I watched the news on the pandemonium and watched as the cases and deaths increased.

And then I blogged about it.

Then racial protests and fighting rose up, taking the spotlight. I read articles, listened to commentary, watched videos, went to prayer vigils and tried to become an informed citizen. I watched as words of hate were being flung back and forth.

And then I blogged about it.

Then the political race started to heat up. I watched the conferences and conventions. I weighed the pros and cons and started to lean a little more to one candidate. All the while, I was getting sucked into the picking of sides.

And then I posted about it.

I thought by blogging my thoughts, it would give me some clarity and I could find a purpose in the constant division. A divide that I hate. I’m a peacemaker at heart, and the more I delved into these issues, the more restless I became.

I don’t think I’m alone.

I’ve had many conversations with people who feel the same way. But then once again, I’m discussing the problems with someone else who agrees there is a problem.

And that’s when I found myself in the never ending rabbit hole.

It saddened me to realize that even though I perceived my actions to be upright, they weren’t. I was falling and I didn’t even know that I was falling.

Some would think the free fall could be beautiful or calming, a time to reflect and evaluate. But now that I see that I was falling, it has only disheartened me to know that I was easily sucked into the world. Sucked into its problems, its agenda, its ever present curse. I was just a life that it used to feed upon.

But not anymore.

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭12:1-2‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I was transforming into what the world wanted me to be.

Not what God was calling me to be.

I was conforming to their standards.

Not holding firm to the standards God set out for me.

So tomorrow is a new day. To start anew. To beginning again. To start climbing back up.

Now that I know I was falling into its ploy, it’s my fault and no one else’s. I have no one to blame but myself for what I decide to do tomorrow. I can do nothing…or I can make a change.

I need a change.

I’m tired of falling. I need to touch back onto solid ground and start walking with Him again. Not falling with the world.

I may walk alone, but I know I’m not really alone. I never was. Even when I was falling He was always there to catch me when I called out. I just never called out. I didn’t think I needed a rescuer.

Isn’t it sad how blind we are to our own failings? I was blinded to my own blindness.

So here’s to new beginnings.

Anyone ready for a change?

Peace