Tomorrow is Canceled: Maybe Monday as Well

Hmmm, did I just get
lapped by change?

It is the mantra of the
times we live in: Adapt, Adapt and Adapt
again. Change comes at us with a vengeance and does not allow for the “I
would rather not” option. COVID-19, or more specifically the response to it,
has doubled down on that requirement.

You do not have to look
far to see examples of that trend. Each has the
good and the bad associated with
it. Let’s explore a few.

Trend: Working at Home

The
Good: No commute
through rush hour traffic. Two weeks on a tank of gas. An extra hour of sleep
in the morning. A whole new meaning to business
casual attire from the neck down.

The
Bad: E-mails. An
avalanche of @&%!@ e-mails arriving at the rate of one every 2 to 5
minutes. Using my full repertoire of four letter words to express my frustration.
If I had a quarter for every four letter word I utter, I could retire tomorrow.

Trend: Online Shopping

The
Good: No waiting in
line. No @&%!@ face mask. No roaming the aisles to find where the thing you
need has been moved to since the last time you shopped. Thank God for Amazon!
They have everything. Literally
everything. I defy you: Name something they do not have.

The
Bad: The growing pile
of cardboard boxes in my garage that I have not had time to break down and
recycle. There is barely room for my car in there now.

Trend: Online meetings. I even had a
virtual appointment with my Naturopath today. At least I think it was him. It
could have been has avatar. How would I know?

The
Good: See above.

The
Bad: More time spent
staring at my laptop screen. I am practically attached at the hip to the damn
thing now. And don’t get my started on the @&%!@ internet connection that
drops for no reason. I have a whole separate category of four letter words for
that situation.

Trend: 24 Hour News. The media mega-machine
never sleeps.

The
Good: Nothing comes
to mind.

The
Bad: Where do I
begin? Only the details that are the most alarming are reported. The angle calculated
to raise our blood pressure and keep us glued to the TV. The truth? Good luck.
We surrendered that value some time ago. We just never found the time to write
its epitaph.

Trend: Political correctness gone wild.

The
Good: Empowerment of
the individual. Anyone can bring the world to halt because they are offended.
Wait, I’m confused. Is that in the good
or the bad category?

The
Bad: Everyone now has
a personalized Stop the World button
at their disposal.

Where am I going with
all of this? Hell, I don’t know! It seemed like a good idea a half hour ago. But
I got off track and couldn’t stop myself. Now I’m up to my knees and sinking
fast.

That’s a metaphor, by
the way. If you don’t get it, don’t worry. It will already be irrelevant by the
time you read this post.

Change – adapt. Change –
adapt again. And again. Too late. You’re too slow. Changed passed you by. You’re
irrelevant now. So am I.

I’m offended. I’m
calling a halt to it all right now. Tomorrow is cancelled. Maybe Monday as
well. Everyone hates Mondays anyway.

~ Now
Available Online from Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: Hunting
Muskie, Rites of Passage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet

~ Michael Robert Dyet is also
the author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel which
was a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’s
website at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog .

~ Subscribe to Michael’s Metaphors of Life Journal aka That Make Me Go
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