I got what you meant, in the sense that the orientation (or lack thereof in her case) is not a choice, but choosing to embrace it and live openly is. I've often used the phrase "the only 'choice' I had about being a lesbian was whether or not I'd live open

******

Right, that's more what I meant, but…well, intent is such a convenient excuse.  Saying an orientation is a 'lifestyle choice,' is the exact terminology used to dehumanize and diminish people and has been for a long time.

I should have known better, that's all there is to it.