Finding Our Focus During Crazy Times: Only So Many Ducks to Give

Finding our focus has never been easy. Many of us have always lacked direction and fallen short on “clarity.” We’d multitasked ourselves into a daily fugue state long before COVID and quarantines and Zoom upended our lives.

Time somehow seeped through an unseen hole, leaking away one errand, email, trip, chore, or event at a time.

Ironically, I wrote a blog post Quiet: Have We Forgotten to Be Still in a World That Never Stops? back in February.

Um, so yeah. Oops. #CarefulWhatYouWishFor

Yet, to be blunt? At the time I wrote that blog, our Normal meant living life strapped to Hell’s Tilt-A-Whirl every…single…day. That is NOT healthy. We needed rest, quiet time and peace, yet we were threadbare and run ragged.

I apologize for not posting for a while. It’s been VERY odd, especially since I’ve posted religiously no matter what for almost fourteen years. Suffice to say, this year—which started with yet another death in the family—had me ground down and exhausted. I seriously needed a sabbatical to recharge.

Moving on…

Focus & The “New” Normal



Nah, let it starve…

So maybe we’ve had enough “quiet time.” We miss getting out, socializing, and long for the days when shopping for groceries didn’t require sanitizer, gloves, face masks, eye-balling six feet for social distancing, and a canteen of holy water.

Alas, there are a handful of phases or words guaranteed to make me twitchy. One is this idea of a “new normal.” First of all, every day is a “new normal.” The entire GOAL of human civilization is to change, ideally for the better.

If we aren’t changing, we’re dying.

That aside? Normal doesn’t exist, other than as a setting on the dryer. And when I hear others (and myself) bemoaning all the changes and trials and wanting to “get back to normal,” I cringe. NO. I don’t want things back the way they used to be, namely because I believe we can do better.

COVID and everything that’s gone with it sure has been a trial. Some have suffered terrible losses, hardships and/or setbacks. But I refuse to endure these tests and tribulations only to go BACK.

Because what was BACK THERE wasn’t all that great.

Nostalgia can be misleading. It’s like that ex we keep returning to because we keep forgetting WHY we dumped the @$$hat in the first place.

Nostalgia can lure us to focus on only what was good, and forget what was broken. Nostalgia cajoles us into dismissing why we were burned out, stressed out and ready to crack.

Since we don’t have a time machine, we’re in this together.

If we focus on all “we’ve lost” then that’s wasted effort that only makes us feel crummy and powerless. We can’t undo what is done, but we can assess, adapt and overcome. THAT is active, offers us agency, and a reason to hope.

Where the Mind Goes, Man Follows



A look into where my mind has been. I MUST KNOW!

When I first started toying with the idea of writing professionally, I had an idea for a book set in Monte Carlo, with the Formula 1 Monaco Grand Prix as a backdrop. Being bold and brassy, I somehow talked my way into some of the inner circles of Ferrari racing.

Though I never finished the book, I did have a great time and learned a lot of key lessons that would carry me through much of my professional life. One lesson in particular stands apart.

We go where we focus.

In professional racing, a lot of winning involves not crashing. Simple, right? If your car is a pile of wreckage, then chances of crossing that finish line go quickly to ZERO. High speed racing—particularly in places like Monte Carlo—are unusually challenging.

Why? Because it isn’t as much about driving faster than the competition, as it is about driving better than the competition. Monte Carlo is a maze of hairpin turns. Not only must a driver be mindful of the wall, but of other drivers as well.

What I learned was this: If you look at the wall, you’ll hit the wall.

The driver must always be keenly aware of where he has his focus, because focus on the wall? You’ll hit the wall. Focus on the other cars? You’ll hit the other cars. Focus on where you want to go? That’s where you’ll naturally drift.

It’s why it’s so crucial to phrase objectives in the positive. Remember you put your keys next to the door is much more effective than telling yourself Don’t forget that you put your keys near the door.

The human brain tends to only start listening at the first ACTIVE verb, and that’s where it will focus. If we say, Don’t forget to pick up cat food, our brain hears, Forget to pick up cat food.

Watching our words and how we speak can drastically improve focus for the better. POSITIVE goals! Instead of, I don’t want gain anymore weight, try, I want to be healthy and properly proportioned