VBT – SUB-LEBRITY
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Sub-lebrity
by Leon Acord
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GENRE: Memoir
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BLURB:
A droll, oddly inspirational memoir from the actor Breitbart once called “a gay leftist activist,” SUB-LEBRITY by Leon Acord (Old Dogs & New Tricks) is an honest, sometimes bitchy but always sincere story about growing up (very) gay in rural Indiana, achieving acting success outside the closet, and generating headlines with his very-public smackdown with Trump-loving Susan Olsen (Cindy, The Brady Bunch)
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EXCERPT
One of my nemeses from the jock clique, Rick Sisson, was slumming, playing the bit part of an “Old Man” about to be poisoned by two murderous old ladies in Arsenic & Old Lace.
As Mortimer, I was to rush on stage, see the Old Man about to drink a glass of poisoned elderberry wine, grab him by the jacket, and shove him out of my crazy aunts’ house.
That was how we’d been playing it.
For closing night, he and his jock buddies thought of a hilarious prank. Instead of setting his glass of fake wine on the table before I grabbed him, he’d throw the full glass of Hawaiian Punch into my face! It was closing night, why not? Smear the queer!
The sizable high-school auditorium was packed with a rowdy closing-night crowd of parents, faculty and friends, unaware they were about to witness my humiliation.
The moment arrived. I entered, rushed to the Old Man with the glass near his lips, and SPLASH!
I was stunned. Rick rushed through the door and off stage before I could do a thing.
The audience erupted with laughter. Erupted! And didn’t stop!
I’d seen it on sitcoms all my short life. Actors forced to hold for a laugh. I lived for the moments on the Carol Burnett Show when something went wrong or when the actors tried not to laugh. And now, I was experiencing that myself. It felt wonderful!
Rick wanted me to feel like Carrie White. Instead, I felt like Cary Grant.
The two teenaged actresses playing my aunts just watched, trying not to laugh themselves.
I felt myself about to smile. I turned my back to the audience and fumbled through a desk on stage, pretending to blindly look for a handkerchief – a cover until I could wipe the now-gigantic smile off my face. The audience found this hilarious and continued howling.
Back in character, I gave up at the desk and turned to face the audience just as the laugh was softening. I instinctively yanked off my clip-on tie and began dabbing my wet face with it.
The audience screamed with laughter again – this time, the laughter morphed into applause.
The song from the Broadway musical Applause is right – it’s better than pot, it’s better than booze. Waiting out a long laugh break, instinctively finding ways to prolong it, riding it like a surfer on a wave, then crashing against the shore in a loud burst of applause, is the best feeling in the world.
I had flirted with the idea of being an actor, among other creative pursuits, all though childhood.
But in this moment, I knew. I’d spend the rest of my life chasing that feeling.
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AUTHOR Bio and Links:
Leon Acord is an award-winning actor and writer who has appeared in over 35 films you’ve never seen and 30 plays you’ve never heard of. Possible exceptions include the digital TV series Old Dogs & New Tricks on Amazon Prime Video (which he created, wrote & co-produced), and the stage hit Carved in Stone (in which he played Quentin Crisp in both SF and LA productions). His memoir, SUB-LEBRITY: The Queer Life of a Show-Biz Footnote, is now available in paperback & e-book on Amazon. He wrote his one-man show Last Sunday in June (1996) and co-authored the 2014 play Setting the Record Gay. He was a “Take Five” columnist for Back Stage West throughout 2009 and a former contributor to Huffington Post. He has also written for San Francisco Examiner and the journal Human Prospect. He currently lives in West LA with husband Laurence Whiting & their cat Toby. Learn more at www.LeonAcord.com
www.facebook.com/LeonAcordActor
www.instagram.com/leonacord
www.twitter.com/Sub_lebrityLeon
Blog: www.LeonAcord.com/blog
Amazon: www.bit.ly/SUBpaperback
Old Dogs & New Tricks website: www.odnt.tv
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RAFFLECOPTER GIVEAWAY
Leon Acord will be awarding a $50 Amazon or Barnes and Noble GC to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour.
Enter to win a $50 Amazon/BN GC – a Rafflecopter giveaway
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Tell us about you as a person.
My dad is a strong, outspoken man, a former president of his local auto-worker’s union, a political junkie, funny, quick, sharp, ambitious, and not a fan of bullshit. My mom is so nice, she would bend over backwards to keep from hurting someone’s feelings. She’s all about family, love, and home and hearth.
I’m the combination of those two personalities. I will go full balls-to-the-wall in pursuit of something, or in response to a perceived injustice, and then immediately feel guilty for going too far, for not thinking of the other person’s feelings first. I’m getting better at straddling the chasm between those two opposing forces, but it has taken me a while.
If you could hang out with one famous person for one day, who would it be and why?
They say one should never meet one’s idols. And that’s probably true. But I would love to have lunch with Quentin Crisp, whom I’ve played twice. But I doubt either of us would want to spend the whole day with each other!
What’s the story behind your latest book?
I’m an avid fan of celebrity memoirs. Since I was a kid. About two years ago, I noticed how many friends of mine had published books, from children’s book to self-help to memoirs. I joked on Facebook that maybe I should write my memoir. Out of the blue, a small publisher contacted me. I offered to write and send him some sample chapters, but he said not to bother – I could just call their editors, tell them my stories and they’d write it for me. Uh, no, that’s cheating! I decided to do it myself.
But then, I was instantly filled with insecurity. I’m not famous, after almost three decades in show business. I wondered, why would anyone want to read my memoir? That, for me, was the challenge. I needed to make the book entertaining enough, good enough, well-written enough, so people would forget I wasn’t famous while reading it.
What is your writing process?
You know, its different, depending on what I’m writing.
Back when I was writing scripts for my web series Old Dogs & New Tricks [2011-2016, Amazon Prime], I found I could only really write late at night, after the rest of the world went away and there was nothing but quiet, and the voices in my own head!
For SUB-LEBRITY*, it was completely the opposite. I was scribbling notes down constantly, during lunch, while working, not all day every day, but pretty much at any time every day. And then, on weekends, I would spend about eight hours a day typing my scribbles and organizing them into coherent thoughts and tales.
But either way, when I’m on a writing or acting project, I’m thinking about it constantly. So I’m always “working” whether I’m actively writing or not.
Tell us about your main character:
Me, me me!
If your book was to be turned into a movie, who would play the lead role and why.
Please, God, anyone but Andy Dick!
What are you working on next?
I’m going to publish the script to Jeffrey Hartgraves’ play Carved in Stone. That’s where I played Quentin Crisp, in a story set in the afterlife that also features Oscar Wilde, Tennessee Williams and Truman Capote. He bequeathed the rights to me when he passed, and I want the entire world to read his brilliant script.
As for writing, I have some ideas, including a different kind of memoir about the crazy year we are living through, and one or two other possible projects, but nothing really at the “talking-about” stage yet.
What advice do you have for other writers who want to get the word out about their book?
Oh gosh, I don’t have a clue! It was easier to promote my series. I could brag about the great cast, the incredible crew, even the plots. Promoting a memoir quickly starts to feel like beating a dead horse, because it’s just “me, me, me!” all the time. I’m lucky we found Goddess Fish, who’s helping us spread the word. And I’m good with social media. But this is my first book, I’m still learning. Ask me after the next one!
What is your favorite book on your shelf right now?
I’m currently reading two travel journals by my friend Erika Atkinson, Happily Lost and Miles of Memories. She’s a wonderful writer, so easy to get lost in her words. And given our current national situation, travel journals will have to stand in for actual travel for a while!
Do you have any special/extraordinary talents?
I would’ve been an excellent stunt driver.
You are given the choice of one super power. What super power would you have and why?
May I have Wonder Woman’s golden lasso and a ticket to Washington D.C., please?
List 5 things on your bucket list:
Hmmm. I don’t really have a bucket list. I’m always actively looking for the next challenge, the next thing to get obsessed about, the second I’ve finished the last challenge or obsession!
That said, I would like to try another musical on stage again. It’s been a while since I’ve done one of those. I’d still love to play “George” in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? I’d love to play Quentin Crisp again in another production of Carved in Stone. But sadly, I don’t see myself standing on a stage, with 150 people all breathing in my direction, any time soon.
Really, the only things I haven’t done at this point, acting-wise, are opera and porn. I don’t see myself trying either of those at my age.
Any final thoughts?
Just one. Please vote. Even if you gotta walk ten miles through a snowstorm. Its that important! I’m Leon Acord, and I approve this message!
