HOW ARE YOU DOING?
Desmond Tutu, South African theologian, wrote: “There comes a point where we need to stop just pulling people out of the river. We need to go upstream and find out why they are falling in.”
It’s a beautiful day, sunshine—and some shadow from the trees. There’s comfort in that blend and there is reality. We all need to feel the sun on our faces, and yet to be able to escape into the shade—for the coolness of it and for the protection. But protection is the key.
So, what I am wanting for all of you today, is feelings of security that come to us in many different forms. It can be the voice of your spouse or child calling to you from the next room. And if that loved one is interrupting—there might be an instant of shadow, but then he or she stands in the doorway and you are grateful they are there, even if what they are demanding of you might make you get up, might break your train of thought—might make you sigh.
BUT WE HAVE TO CONSIDER STRESS
In these times the very healthy presence of those we love should make our hearts beat a little faster, though I am very aware that sheltering in place has meant a rise in spousal abuse, even abuse of children. Then the beautiful day disappears and it takes a very strong woman or man to curb anger, and to stay strong, to not break down because the stress is building.
COMFORT WHERE YOU WOULDN’T EXPECT TO FIND IT
So, if you are feeling vulnerable, or if you know someone who is in these heightened times of emotion and upheaval, you are certainly not alone. And your friend isn’t either. There is help—others are aware.
Heidi Stevens, in the Chicago Tribune, writes about this, referring to this emotional situation as “low-grade depression.” That’s a new term for me and it was for Heidi—but a term used by a very strong women, Michelle Obama, who basically said she currently has “low-grade depression.” On hearing the former First Lady use the term, Northwestern psychiatrist Aderonke Bangbose Pederson knew she needed to expand on that. In doing so she scheduled a zoom call with Altha Stewart, Crystal Clark and Brandi Jackson—all part of the American Psychiatric Association.
WHAT THE PSYCHIATRISTS SAID
Pederson: “We shared the experience of Mrs. Obama’s words resonating with us, both as psychiatrists and as Black women. We know from our personal and professional experience that these are the same feelings that many Black women—no matter their socioeconomic status…where they are regionally in the country, …if they work or how much education they have or whether they have kids or not—that between the coronavirus anxiety and fear and the ongoing new awareness on the part of America that racial injustice has been a part of our lives since the beginning…Mrs. Obama articulated something that needs to be amplified.”
Dr. Pederson stressed that Michelle Obama has a rich history of openly discussing things that are often stigmatized and not talked about. Those of you who read BECOMING know this to be true, as Obama talked about a very sensitive topic, her miscarriage, and then using IVF to get pregnant. She also wrote about utilizing marriage counseling when she and Barack had trouble organizing their busy schedules.
GETTING THE WORD OUT
This group of female psychiatrists then wrote a letter to Mrs. Obama basically saying: “We stand in solidarity with the vulnerability you expressed, which we know many other Black women experience.” Whey they shared their letter with other professionals, two hundred added their names.
Dr. Brandi Jackson: “There’s a tendency for Black women’s pains to either be over-pathologized—‘Oh she’s angry’ or under-pathologized…It’s really hard to find places where Black Women get to be in the middle… When I heard Mrs. Obama’s statement, I thought: This is a rational response to the time we’re in and I thought it was incredibly important to legitimize it.”
But the Role of Psychiatry Is Changing…
Dr. Altha Stewart stressed that psychiatry did not see itself as having a major role in these major social issues, but that is changing. “We’ve been talking over the last few decades about wanting to be more involved in the issues that impact communities.”
Dr. Crystal Clark got right to the point: “Michelle is our modern-day superwoman. And for her to be able to share her vulnerability and that she experiences challenges given the heaviness of two pandemics—racial injustice and of COVID19—really helps Black women recognize that they can be strong and successful, but also vulnerable.”
All of these thoughtful and caring women stressed what Michelle Obama is saying—that it’s okay to say I’m just not okay today.
So how are you doing? We are still unpacking. I cannot find things and there’s a lot more to do. But we are healthy and together and I’m grateful.
Thanks for reading. And I guess I’m not doing that great, as I could not add media to this post. This is the first time that has happened. ONE DAY AT A TIME.
Photo Credit, Rushing River photos.
