WIP Diagnostic: Is This Working? A Closer Look at Creating Hooks in a YA Opening

Critique By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

WIP Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to WIP Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines. 

Submissions currently in the queue: Two

Please Note: As of today, critique slots are booked through September 5.

This week’s questions:

1. Does it give enough of a hook, yet holds back to give a sense of mystery?

2. Does the narrator sound like a 17 year old teen?

3. Any comments on improvement in description?

Market/Genre: Young Adult Fantasy

On to the diagnosis…

Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com