Being an excerpt from my new book that certain readers might want to skip Part Eight
NOTE: While everyone is, of course, free to read, these particular excerpts are, essentially, footnotes provided for readers of my books and are there to make sense of what they are reading AS THEY READ. So, they may not make as much sense to those who are not reading at the time...
What society doesn’t discuss is the shocking statistics on the abuse of older women. Because so few of the crimes are reported, the extent of the problem is not fully known. Only about 30 percent of elderly abuse victims go to the authorities.
And, of course, women are six times more likely to be victims of abuse.
A supervised setting such as a nursing home isn’t a deterrent, as 84 percent of elder abuse happens to those living in a care center. Shockingly, 80 percent of the time, that abuse is perpetrated by a caregiver — and more than 75 percent of those victims say their abuse was witnessed by someone. Still, the crimes go unreported to authorities.
Isn’t that funny? I mean, if you like statistics.
It isn’t simply care center workers who are preying on these vulnerable women. More than half the time, sexual abuse is committed by a family member they are dependent upon. This means many elderly women must choose between reporting the crime and losing their financial support for the care they receive.
Cognitive decline plays a significant role as victims are not always helpful in the investigation and prosecution of their abuse. According to the Nursing Home Abuse Center, about 5 million elderly over 65 have some degree of dementia. By age 85, the figure jumps to nearly half of all elderly.
Oh, and don’t forget that some of these women are veterans.
This is why everyone should make a point of spending time with the elderly while they are younger and getting to know what it is like to be old and getting familiar with the ins and outs of agedness. You do not want to be surprised when, with any luck—and we must call it luck, even if it is bad—becoming old happens to you.
This is neither new nor surprising advice. Old age does not come upon you gradually for the simple fact that it comes upon you live in a state of constant denial as it approaches. Denial or at least a state that you are questioning it as it approaches. With each moment of questioning, with each happenstance of aging, with each reckoning of the lessoning of your abilities, the falling away of your senses, you account for it that you are temporarily ill, or that there is a change in the weather, or that someone has treated you badly that day, or that it is the government’s fault, and that things will change for the better, soon. Oh, yes, definitely. Any day now... Those lines on your face are just going to disappear, POOF!
Yet none of that is true and things only deteriorate over time. Time is your opponent and time is stronger than you. Time is not your enemy, though, it is your friend. That is why you should spend time with the elderly. Spend that time with them when you are young. That is when time is your best friend, after all, when you are young. Yet, surely, most young people prefer to spend their time with other young people. So it has been, so it always shall be. And time remains your friend when you are old. You simply have to spend time, both when you are young and old, becoming familiar with it. And also, you have more time when you are old, to make friends with the young.
At least the ones who won’t rape you or steal your money when you are elderly and incognizant.
But who thinks about the old other than their own? Your own family members? And do you even think of them? Give them the time of day? Most elderly are simply forgotten, left to themselves or, at best, some others, often careless others, others who prey upon them. That’s right. Prey upon them, their bodies, their money, even their souls, until they are dead. Or beyond.
Worse today because there is so much for us to concern ourselves with, especially ourselves as the marketplace tells us more and more often to concern ourselves with ourselves. And the world itself is burning and forces us to think more and more about ourselves and our dwindling time here on the planet we—and, yes, those elderly folks—have destroyed.
Ah, well, you say, here you are...here I am. An old white man complaining about the plight of old white men. Fuck you. Sure, why not. But, plenty of others out there, my friends, old but not men, old but not white, suffering far more than I. Indeed. Have you not been reading so far? Notice how little I suffer? And white men, too, surely, other than myself, and some deserving of compassion. Some not, I suppose. Some should be hung by their thumbs, dipped in honey and left in the sun to be devoured by ants. Sure. That’s a good one. But not all of them. And, on second thought, don’t waste the honey. Make it a syrup of processed sugar and gasoline. Better yet, palm oil. That way it won’t burn, and the ants will have more fun.
But not all the old white men. Some of them were good boys. Or, at least, they tried at times.
What society doesn’t discuss is the shocking statistics on the abuse of older women. Because so few of the crimes are reported, the extent of the problem is not fully known. Only about 30 percent of elderly abuse victims go to the authorities.
And, of course, women are six times more likely to be victims of abuse.
A supervised setting such as a nursing home isn’t a deterrent, as 84 percent of elder abuse happens to those living in a care center. Shockingly, 80 percent of the time, that abuse is perpetrated by a caregiver — and more than 75 percent of those victims say their abuse was witnessed by someone. Still, the crimes go unreported to authorities.
Isn’t that funny? I mean, if you like statistics.
It isn’t simply care center workers who are preying on these vulnerable women. More than half the time, sexual abuse is committed by a family member they are dependent upon. This means many elderly women must choose between reporting the crime and losing their financial support for the care they receive.
Cognitive decline plays a significant role as victims are not always helpful in the investigation and prosecution of their abuse. According to the Nursing Home Abuse Center, about 5 million elderly over 65 have some degree of dementia. By age 85, the figure jumps to nearly half of all elderly.
Oh, and don’t forget that some of these women are veterans.
This is why everyone should make a point of spending time with the elderly while they are younger and getting to know what it is like to be old and getting familiar with the ins and outs of agedness. You do not want to be surprised when, with any luck—and we must call it luck, even if it is bad—becoming old happens to you.
This is neither new nor surprising advice. Old age does not come upon you gradually for the simple fact that it comes upon you live in a state of constant denial as it approaches. Denial or at least a state that you are questioning it as it approaches. With each moment of questioning, with each happenstance of aging, with each reckoning of the lessoning of your abilities, the falling away of your senses, you account for it that you are temporarily ill, or that there is a change in the weather, or that someone has treated you badly that day, or that it is the government’s fault, and that things will change for the better, soon. Oh, yes, definitely. Any day now... Those lines on your face are just going to disappear, POOF!
Yet none of that is true and things only deteriorate over time. Time is your opponent and time is stronger than you. Time is not your enemy, though, it is your friend. That is why you should spend time with the elderly. Spend that time with them when you are young. That is when time is your best friend, after all, when you are young. Yet, surely, most young people prefer to spend their time with other young people. So it has been, so it always shall be. And time remains your friend when you are old. You simply have to spend time, both when you are young and old, becoming familiar with it. And also, you have more time when you are old, to make friends with the young.
At least the ones who won’t rape you or steal your money when you are elderly and incognizant.
But who thinks about the old other than their own? Your own family members? And do you even think of them? Give them the time of day? Most elderly are simply forgotten, left to themselves or, at best, some others, often careless others, others who prey upon them. That’s right. Prey upon them, their bodies, their money, even their souls, until they are dead. Or beyond.
Worse today because there is so much for us to concern ourselves with, especially ourselves as the marketplace tells us more and more often to concern ourselves with ourselves. And the world itself is burning and forces us to think more and more about ourselves and our dwindling time here on the planet we—and, yes, those elderly folks—have destroyed.
Ah, well, you say, here you are...here I am. An old white man complaining about the plight of old white men. Fuck you. Sure, why not. But, plenty of others out there, my friends, old but not men, old but not white, suffering far more than I. Indeed. Have you not been reading so far? Notice how little I suffer? And white men, too, surely, other than myself, and some deserving of compassion. Some not, I suppose. Some should be hung by their thumbs, dipped in honey and left in the sun to be devoured by ants. Sure. That’s a good one. But not all of them. And, on second thought, don’t waste the honey. Make it a syrup of processed sugar and gasoline. Better yet, palm oil. That way it won’t burn, and the ants will have more fun.
But not all the old white men. Some of them were good boys. Or, at least, they tried at times.
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