Sample Sunday: Priscilla the Great
Chapter 11
Thursday morning I woke up looking forward to using my fingers to make a nice warm bath, but something felt different in my body. My powers were gone. I tried to listen for Josh singing in the shower, but I couldn't hear a thing, thank God. I tried to make heat rise from my fingertips. Nothing. Finally, I got out of bed and tried to lift it with one hand. It wouldn't budge. A feeling of relief washed over me. A part of me would miss my powers. I was glad I had them when I needed to save Charlie's life. I'd had a couple of nightmares imagining what would have happened if the car had hit him. All joking aside, I kinda loved my brothers.I didn't know where the powers came from or why they had disappeared. Maybe it was just part of some divine fluke that was meant for me to save my brother's life. I didn't know and I didn't care. I was just glad they were gone. It was a burden having a secret like that. There was no one I could trust. I was just glad Tai hadn't told anyone. Or, at least I hoped she hadn't. Things were still super weird between Tai and me. I hadn't spoken to her since that night at Spencer's house. Come to think of it, I hadn't addressed another issue of betrayal that came up that night.No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't gather up enough courage to tell Josh about Stefanie. I kinda hoped that he would realize on his own what an awful person she was and dump her. But that didn't happen. In fact, I came home to find the bottle-blonde, bubble-blowing, lying, little bimbo sitting on my couch and staring at her new ring. It was the promise ring that Josh wanted to give her. I felt a heat rising in me. I wanted to set her face on fire. I know that's mean, but she was really going to break my brother's heart. I couldn't let her do it.I had to tell Josh the truth. But would he even believe me? And if he did, what if he ended up hating me? I sucked in a deep breath and decided it had to be done."Hey, Patricia," Stefanie said as I walked past where she was perched on our couch. Dad would flip if he saw her feet up on the coffee table. He had just dusted it. Thankfully, he was at the grocery store."It's Priscilla," I said even though I kinda thought she already knew that and just called me Patricia to annoy me."Whatever. Could you just tell your brother to bring me an iced tea with my sandwich? Thanks a bunch." Then she pulled her gum out of her mouth, wrapped it around her finger, plopped it back in, and blew a bubble. If there were bubble gum Olympics, she would win a gold medal, hands down."How's your car?" I asked as nicely as I could, showing off a fake smile."What do you know about that?""Oh, just that tires can be expensive nowadays."She stopped smacking and glared at me, her eyes turning to slits. Then she smiled and resumed her brutal assault on that poor, defenseless gum before saying, "No matter. Josh bought new tires for me."I gasped. My brother actually paid for her tires? Poor Josh was paying in more ways than one for her lying and cheating. He'd been saving his money for over a year to pay for a football camp at Penn State. He'd probably spent all his money on those tires. This was the last straw. Oh, this chick was going down. I stormed into the kitchen and found my brother making Stefanie's favorite sandwich: turkey, roast beef, and Swiss cheese on rye bread with the edges cut off and a smidge of low-fat mayonnaise. I was annoyed that I even knew that."Josh, there's something you need to know about Stefanie.""I know, I know. Iced tea." He grabbed a Snapple out of the fridge as if he was in a hurry. God forbid the skank have to wait for her sandwich."No, not that." I took a deep breath and blurted, "Stefanie's cheating on you with Trevor Callahan.""That's not possible. Trevor's in college. He already went back to Duquesne." Josh didn't even pause in his sandwich preparation."I know, but before he left, he was kissing Stefanie. It was on Labor Day.""I don't know where you're getting this from or why you would make this up, but Stefanie wouldn't do that to me. She's wearing my ring.""Josh!" Stefanie called from the living room."Coming, babe." Josh poured the Snapple into a glass and placed it on a tray next to Stefanie's sandwich. "Priss, we'll talk about this later. But you need to learn to like Stefanie. She's going to be your sister one day."I almost puked.Josh obviously needed more proof. And I needed reinforcements in order to get it. Just then, the devil twins ran through the kitchen, each sporting freshly painted green hair. I didn't know why their hair was green and I didn't care. I just needed their help.I stopped them both, holding them by their collars so they wouldn't run off."You guys up for a game?"For the past year or so, Charlie and Chester had perfected a game they liked to call Snot Wars. Basically, they earned points for hitting certain predetermined targets with none other than their very own snot. Yes, they would press one nostril closed and then, after taking a deep breath, aim a snot rocket at an inanimate target. We had to limit the boys to inanimate objects after Max Montgomery ran away from being the victim of one too many snot attacks. I don't know where they got an endless supply of snot from, but I swear, I've seen Charlie hit a lamp shade from ten feet away.Josh and I kept our belongings safe by telling the twins that if any snot ever fell on any of our stuff, they'd earn negative points. That was enough. They were so into their game that they had their own scoring system. Right now Charlie had forty hundred gazillion trillion points, and Chester had thirty fifteen hundred million bazillion points. I wasn't sure who was winning.Given the fact that Stefanie was in the local newspaper for sending ten thousand text messages in the month of July alone, I just assumed that she would have some little love notes written to Trevor on her annoyingly pink sparkly Blackberry.In order to distract Stefanie long enough for me to snatch her phone, I told the twins that there was a target in the house worth a hundred billion trillion gazillion points. The target: Stefanie's mouth.Josh knew something was going on when he saw the twins skulking around the living room in their blue camouflage Osh Kosh B'Gosh overalls. They were stalking their prey. I guess I should've told them that the war paint was unnecessary. "Priss, get the twins out of here. They're up to something," Josh called while wrapping a protective arm around his girlfriend."What? They can't play in their own house? They're fine." I peeked into the living room from the hallway and noticed that Chester and Charlie had worked out an attack plan through a series of hand signals. Charlie was going to distract Josh while Chester went in for the first shot.Charlie dug a half-eaten Twinkie out of his pocket and lobbed it at Josh. Josh leaped off of the couch and charged after him. But little Charlie was quick. As Josh's pursuit of the Twinkie-thrower spilled out into the backyard, Chester jumped on the coffee table, closed a nostril, aimed, and fired.Stefanie's wild screams filled the house as she manically wiped snot off of her forehead. She shot off the couch and ran to the bathroom, giving me the opportunity to rifle through her purse. Once I had the phone in my hand, I ducked into a corner and scrolled through her text messages."What's going on? Why is Stefanie screaming?" Josh asked, bursting back into the house."I missed." Chester poked out his lip, crossed his arms, and flopped into a chair."Missed? Missed what? Oh God, not Snot Wars." Josh ran to the bathroom to find Stefanie.Seconds later, Josh emerged from the bathroom and screamed, "I'm gonna kill you, Chester!""Josh, wait," I said, stepping in front of him. "He's not the one you should be mad at." I held up the phone as he started reading countless text messages from Stefanie to Trevor, or as she put it "Sexy Trevy.""I hope you're going to punish that little beast!" Stefanie yelled when she came out of the bathroom.Josh didn't respond to that request. Instead, he silently handed over her phone and said, "How could you?" before sulking off to his room.Stefanie's mouth flew open, giving Charlie the perfect opportunity. He won the hundred billion trillion gazillion points.
Thursday morning I woke up looking forward to using my fingers to make a nice warm bath, but something felt different in my body. My powers were gone. I tried to listen for Josh singing in the shower, but I couldn't hear a thing, thank God. I tried to make heat rise from my fingertips. Nothing. Finally, I got out of bed and tried to lift it with one hand. It wouldn't budge. A feeling of relief washed over me. A part of me would miss my powers. I was glad I had them when I needed to save Charlie's life. I'd had a couple of nightmares imagining what would have happened if the car had hit him. All joking aside, I kinda loved my brothers.I didn't know where the powers came from or why they had disappeared. Maybe it was just part of some divine fluke that was meant for me to save my brother's life. I didn't know and I didn't care. I was just glad they were gone. It was a burden having a secret like that. There was no one I could trust. I was just glad Tai hadn't told anyone. Or, at least I hoped she hadn't. Things were still super weird between Tai and me. I hadn't spoken to her since that night at Spencer's house. Come to think of it, I hadn't addressed another issue of betrayal that came up that night.No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't gather up enough courage to tell Josh about Stefanie. I kinda hoped that he would realize on his own what an awful person she was and dump her. But that didn't happen. In fact, I came home to find the bottle-blonde, bubble-blowing, lying, little bimbo sitting on my couch and staring at her new ring. It was the promise ring that Josh wanted to give her. I felt a heat rising in me. I wanted to set her face on fire. I know that's mean, but she was really going to break my brother's heart. I couldn't let her do it.I had to tell Josh the truth. But would he even believe me? And if he did, what if he ended up hating me? I sucked in a deep breath and decided it had to be done."Hey, Patricia," Stefanie said as I walked past where she was perched on our couch. Dad would flip if he saw her feet up on the coffee table. He had just dusted it. Thankfully, he was at the grocery store."It's Priscilla," I said even though I kinda thought she already knew that and just called me Patricia to annoy me."Whatever. Could you just tell your brother to bring me an iced tea with my sandwich? Thanks a bunch." Then she pulled her gum out of her mouth, wrapped it around her finger, plopped it back in, and blew a bubble. If there were bubble gum Olympics, she would win a gold medal, hands down."How's your car?" I asked as nicely as I could, showing off a fake smile."What do you know about that?""Oh, just that tires can be expensive nowadays."She stopped smacking and glared at me, her eyes turning to slits. Then she smiled and resumed her brutal assault on that poor, defenseless gum before saying, "No matter. Josh bought new tires for me."I gasped. My brother actually paid for her tires? Poor Josh was paying in more ways than one for her lying and cheating. He'd been saving his money for over a year to pay for a football camp at Penn State. He'd probably spent all his money on those tires. This was the last straw. Oh, this chick was going down. I stormed into the kitchen and found my brother making Stefanie's favorite sandwich: turkey, roast beef, and Swiss cheese on rye bread with the edges cut off and a smidge of low-fat mayonnaise. I was annoyed that I even knew that."Josh, there's something you need to know about Stefanie.""I know, I know. Iced tea." He grabbed a Snapple out of the fridge as if he was in a hurry. God forbid the skank have to wait for her sandwich."No, not that." I took a deep breath and blurted, "Stefanie's cheating on you with Trevor Callahan.""That's not possible. Trevor's in college. He already went back to Duquesne." Josh didn't even pause in his sandwich preparation."I know, but before he left, he was kissing Stefanie. It was on Labor Day.""I don't know where you're getting this from or why you would make this up, but Stefanie wouldn't do that to me. She's wearing my ring.""Josh!" Stefanie called from the living room."Coming, babe." Josh poured the Snapple into a glass and placed it on a tray next to Stefanie's sandwich. "Priss, we'll talk about this later. But you need to learn to like Stefanie. She's going to be your sister one day."I almost puked.Josh obviously needed more proof. And I needed reinforcements in order to get it. Just then, the devil twins ran through the kitchen, each sporting freshly painted green hair. I didn't know why their hair was green and I didn't care. I just needed their help.I stopped them both, holding them by their collars so they wouldn't run off."You guys up for a game?"For the past year or so, Charlie and Chester had perfected a game they liked to call Snot Wars. Basically, they earned points for hitting certain predetermined targets with none other than their very own snot. Yes, they would press one nostril closed and then, after taking a deep breath, aim a snot rocket at an inanimate target. We had to limit the boys to inanimate objects after Max Montgomery ran away from being the victim of one too many snot attacks. I don't know where they got an endless supply of snot from, but I swear, I've seen Charlie hit a lamp shade from ten feet away.Josh and I kept our belongings safe by telling the twins that if any snot ever fell on any of our stuff, they'd earn negative points. That was enough. They were so into their game that they had their own scoring system. Right now Charlie had forty hundred gazillion trillion points, and Chester had thirty fifteen hundred million bazillion points. I wasn't sure who was winning.Given the fact that Stefanie was in the local newspaper for sending ten thousand text messages in the month of July alone, I just assumed that she would have some little love notes written to Trevor on her annoyingly pink sparkly Blackberry.In order to distract Stefanie long enough for me to snatch her phone, I told the twins that there was a target in the house worth a hundred billion trillion gazillion points. The target: Stefanie's mouth.Josh knew something was going on when he saw the twins skulking around the living room in their blue camouflage Osh Kosh B'Gosh overalls. They were stalking their prey. I guess I should've told them that the war paint was unnecessary. "Priss, get the twins out of here. They're up to something," Josh called while wrapping a protective arm around his girlfriend."What? They can't play in their own house? They're fine." I peeked into the living room from the hallway and noticed that Chester and Charlie had worked out an attack plan through a series of hand signals. Charlie was going to distract Josh while Chester went in for the first shot.Charlie dug a half-eaten Twinkie out of his pocket and lobbed it at Josh. Josh leaped off of the couch and charged after him. But little Charlie was quick. As Josh's pursuit of the Twinkie-thrower spilled out into the backyard, Chester jumped on the coffee table, closed a nostril, aimed, and fired.Stefanie's wild screams filled the house as she manically wiped snot off of her forehead. She shot off the couch and ran to the bathroom, giving me the opportunity to rifle through her purse. Once I had the phone in my hand, I ducked into a corner and scrolled through her text messages."What's going on? Why is Stefanie screaming?" Josh asked, bursting back into the house."I missed." Chester poked out his lip, crossed his arms, and flopped into a chair."Missed? Missed what? Oh God, not Snot Wars." Josh ran to the bathroom to find Stefanie.Seconds later, Josh emerged from the bathroom and screamed, "I'm gonna kill you, Chester!""Josh, wait," I said, stepping in front of him. "He's not the one you should be mad at." I held up the phone as he started reading countless text messages from Stefanie to Trevor, or as she put it "Sexy Trevy.""I hope you're going to punish that little beast!" Stefanie yelled when she came out of the bathroom.Josh didn't respond to that request. Instead, he silently handed over her phone and said, "How could you?" before sulking off to his room.Stefanie's mouth flew open, giving Charlie the perfect opportunity. He won the hundred billion trillion gazillion points.
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