Finding The One

So many people devote the best part of their energy, dreams and ambitions to searching for “The One”. In fact, some do so for many years, while others find “The One” time after time again and leave a trail of heartache in their wake when they realise “The One” they believed they had found sadly wasn’t actually “The One” after all. What higher ideal could there be than the Holy Grail of that perfect romantic love? And yet, there is little more self-seeking, ego-bound, monomaniac or insulated from the rest of humanity than someone who is “in love”, whether requited or not. The state of “in love” has little to do with a higher love and everything to do with the chemical imbalances caused by sexual attraction between two individuals. Its primary drive is to reproduce the species and, more specifically, an individual’s own genes. Even when that attraction is between same sex individuals, there is often still a drive to have children some way or another.

Sadly, the “in love” phenomena excludes others. It drives the older man into the embrace of a much younger woman and the older woman into taking a young lover. “In Love” has few morals and even fewer inhibitions. “In Love” is a folie a deux that blinds two people to the feelings of those not within the couple – ultimately enabling desertion, abandonment or occasionally worse. What is often seen as the pinnacle of human experience might even be the Achilles heel of our species. A more altruistic notion of “The One” would seem to be diametrically opposite to “in love”. It would hold that a relationship with “The One” means seeing beyond any exclusive coupling and the romantic notion that so many men and women (especially women) hold so dear.

Sexuality is an instinctive and irresistible force that all sentient life shares but there is more to human life than this reproductive drive. “The One” means we are all part of a greater consciousness, men, women and all living organisms are bound over the eons in an undeniable relationship by our DNA and all of these living beings can communicate on many levels. We are all linked, we are all related and we are all interdependent. Whatever your religious beliefs, this is an undeniable fact and from this will spring a respect for life, a cherishing of differences and a non-judgmental outlook. Sexuality, whether sacred or profane, is only the engine of evolution – such a very important biological engine, but engine nonetheless.

We are all “The One”, we are all part of a greater Being. That Being is the Entirety of Creation, the Universe, a Universal Consciousness if you like that some may call God. At the centre of this notion of “The One” is Love in a wider sense, not an exclusive and selfish state of being “In Love” but an empathy and experience that reaches out to all and is unconditional.