WIP Diagnostic: Is This Working? A Closer Look at Adding a Hook to the First Page

Critique By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

WIP Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to WIP Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines. 

Submissions currently in the queue: Two

Please Note: As of today, critique slots are booked through August 29.

This week’s questions:

1. Is the beginning interesting enough to want to read more?

2. Is this in Freddy’s POV? Or is it more of a narrative?

3. Is this age appropriate for middle or elementary readers?

4. If the beginning isn’t yet a hook how in the world can I make it more interesting?

Market/Genre: Middle Grade

Note: This is a re-submission. Check out the previous submission if you’re curious how the author revised. 

On to the diagnosis…
Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com