England v Pakistan: second Test, day two – as it happened

Pakistan’s innings will stretch into a third day after Mohammad Rizwan’s gritty 60 not out, and another early finish, left England frustrated

7.22pm BST

Related: Bad-light rules frustrate England and Stuart Broad as Pakistan dig deep

Related: Jimmy Anderson shows there is plenty of life in oldest swinger | Andy Bull

6.50pm BST

It’s official: the gloaming has got the better of the game. So Pakistan’s innings will stretch into a third day. They added 104 today for the loss of four wickets, with nearly all the runs coming from the classy Babar Azam or the canny Mohammad Rizwan, who’s still there on 60 – worth about a hundred on a flat wicket.

England’s four seamers bowled impeccably, then indifferently as Rizwan outwitted them. There’s more rain forecast and the draw is now the favourite, if not by much: on WinViz, it’s on 38 per cent, while England are on 36 and Pakistan 25. A draw would be hard on the Pakistanis, who would be unable to turn the series round, but it would at least rule out the dead rubber.

6.35pm BST

A good spot from Andy Zaltzman, the laughing person’s Bill Frindall. Mohammad Abbas’s wicket was Stuart Broad’s third of the innings, which means he has now taken three or more seven times in a row. “He’s the seventh England bowler to do this,” says Zaltzman, “after Graeme Swann (2009), Darren Gough (2001), Ian Botham (1978), Alec Bedser (1952-53), Maurice Tate (eight inns, 1924-25) and SF Barnes (also eight, 1913-14). Overall best: Murali 16, Waqar 14.”

Good company. Broad is clearly destined to be either a knight, a lord, a commentator, a coach or an enthusiast for hair-loss replacement.

6.20pm BST

“A bit late from Ian in Turkey,” says Ian Wilson, “but what was the point of selecting Bess? He has not bowled a ball, they could have played Wood or another batsman, unless of course spin is going to be the way to win in the second innings, but maybe Root forgot about him.”

Well, it’s high summer (or meant to be), and yes there’s the second innings, and spin can make the difference in Southampton – Moeen Ali has a great record there. And Bess did pick up a couple of wickets there a month ago, although that was under a different captain. I agree, Root could have gone with himself as the only spinner – or, if he was sure he wanted a specialist, brought in Jack Leach, who takes a wicket every 60 balls in Tests, whereas Bess needs 80.

6.12pm BST

“Afternoon from Petrolia, Ontario,” says Alex McGillivray. “Having a ‘disagreement’ with the missus. Can you confirm Jason Gallian’s Cricinfo pic looks a bit like a mid-90s Jim Carrey? Ta.”

I couldn’t possibly take sides in your forthcoming divorce, but it did make me laugh.

6.04pm BST

A question from Andrew Cosgrove. “When did ‘Cricket doesn’t help itself sometimes’ become the default statement when bad light stops play? I am seriously considering not watching the highlights this evening because I know Michael Vaughan will say it and I may end up putting my foot through my television.”

6.02pm BST

We have a joke, and it’s not the bad-light regulations. It comes from Dylan Drummond.

“Are there two wickets left to take then?”

5.56pm BST

“The definitive Tea Dance song.” says Andrew Thomas, picking up on 16:20 et al, “comes from North Walians Chugga.”

5.53pm BST

“There’s a very simple solution to Yadav’s problem,” says Adrian Goldman, picking up the baton from 17:23. “We can ask Gavin Williamson to come in and apply some statistical analysis. Based on my quick calculations, Pakistan were all out in their first innings for 145, and are being asked to preemptively follow on from England’s score of 473 for 1 declared. They have just reached 36 without loss.”

5.50pm BST

The light is steadfastly refusing to get better, which will be fine by one of our readers. “I must be alone,” says Timothy Harnedy, “in not being bothered by bad light stopping play. Test cricket is a game that rewards patience, so delays for bad light are part of its majesty.

“There’s no other sport where the conditions of the ground, the atmosphere and the playing equipment combine to have such an impact on the development of a match. We should be wary of seeing it as a problem that needs solving. The natural end state would be to play some sort of pseudo-cricket with a rubber ball on a hard surface (or inside) so that play could continue come rain, sleet or snow. And it would be rubbish.”

5.23pm BST

“Two things.” says Digvijay Yadav, sounding like a boss. “I am annoyed. This sport doesn’t help itself. (I haven’t got solutions. Just allow me to vent.) And they’ve linked the wrong email for you.” Ah, sorry. My people are onto it.

5.07pm BST

“I really can’t be arsed,” says Brian Withington, “to flesh out my old-gittery in full, so please feel free to perm and expand from the following. When will we ever learn - why oh why oh why - who writes these regulations - a (zero) capacity crowd short-changed - how do we expect to gain a new audience?

“Infuriated of Dorridge.”

4.47pm BST

86th over: Pakistan 223-9 (Rizwan 60, Naseem 1) Naseem nurdles a single first ball, in sharp contrast to his two predecessors. Rizwan, who moved into fourth gear when Yasir was out, decides it’s time for fifth. He gives Broad the charge and gets two for an off-wallop. Then there’s a half-volley, swinging away, and he’s seeing it well enough to cream it through the covers. Rizwan nicks a single off the last ball – but now they’re off again, because of the sodding light. Both sides would surely rather get on with the game.

4.42pm BST

This is as plumb as a very plumb plumb. Abbas reviews but it’s smacking into middle and leg. Seldom will see you a more useful score of 2.

4.39pm BST

85th over: Pakistan 215-8 (Rizwan 53, Abbas 2) A cup of tea and a change of plan: England now have a standard field for Rizwan, and Woakes is back in the corridor, which is surely better than the doghouse. Rizwan can’t get his single, so Abbas is staring down the barrel of an over from Broad.

4.20pm BST

On the subject of tea, here’s Sam Collier in Shetland. “Re Phil Sawyer’s link to Douglas Adams’ musings on correct tea preparation. I wonder if the great man was channelling this earlier work from Ginger Baker / Masters of Reality.”

4.19pm BST

Mid-85th over: Pakistan 215-8 (Rizwan 53, Abbas 2) Rizwan cuts Woakes for two, to take the partnership to 39. England badly need to break it. Where’s Ben Stokes when you need him? Now they go off for bad light, and that will be tea, with Pakistan having fun and England suddenly forgetting the simple virtues that put them on top an hour ago. The game is just where it should be, in the unsafe hands of Dr Ebb and Mr Flow.

4.12pm BST

84th over: Pakistan 213-8 (Rizwan 51, Abbas 0) To celebrate his two reprieves, Abbas gets off the mark! He edged Broad just short of Root, who winces and hopes he hasn’t broken a finger.

4.09pm BST

Umpire’s call – angled in, clipping the leg bail.

4.09pm BST

Not given, maybe going down...

4.09pm BST

Rizwan calls for a sneaky two and Abbas is struggling as Broad takes off the bails. But it’s not out! And that’s Rizwan’s fifty off 104 balls – worth at least 80 on a better pitch.

4.05pm BST

83rd over: Pakistan 208-8 (Rizwan 48, Abbas 0) Root is spreading the field for Rizwan, much to the distaste of Shane Warne. “Top of off stump and be patient, that’s all you have to do.” Rizwan helps himself to two leg byes and a flick off the hip to keep the strike.

“Thanks for the Gower of Song, OBO!” exclaims Pete Salmon (72nd over). “I now keep hearing Rizwan to the tune of Suzanne. And yes, I know that he’s half crazy, but that’s why I want to be here.”

4.00pm BST

82nd over: Pakistan 205-8 (Rizwan 47, Abbas 0) Rizwan, popping an edge off the shoulder of the bat, reckons he can run two. He’s sadly mistaken, so Mo Abbas has to get through five balls of Broad. By the end of the over, there are four slips and two short legs, but the last ball is an outswinger outside off, so Mo just lets it go.

3.56pm BST

81st over: Pakistan 204-8 (Rizwan 46, Abbas 0) Root entrust the new ball to Woakes, something he could do more often. There are more byes – four of them as Woakes gets his inswinger going too well, and Pakistan have made it to 200. Then Woakes goes the other way and concedes a wide, trying too hard to keep Rizwan off strike for the next over. Rizwan, unperturbed, dabs the seventh ball for a single to square leg.

3.50pm BST

80th over: Pakistan 198-8 (Rizwan 45, Abbas 0) Broad replaces Curran, tries a bouncer to Rizwan and concedes a bye as the ball takes off down the leg side. Not even Ben Foakes would have stopped that one. The new ball is imminent.

“Tower of Song, eh?” says Phil Sawyer. “Good man. You and I can sing it together at the socially distanced OBO karaoke (actually, is there any kind of OBO event that isn’t socially distanced?). Anyway, never mind those Yorkists. Douglas Adams wrote the definitive account of how to treat tea properly.”

3.45pm BST

79th over: Pakistan 197-8 (Rizwan 45, Abbas 0) And now Rizwan drives Woakes, on the up, to the extra-cover boundary. He has made every one of the 26 runs since Yasir was out.

3.41pm BST

78th over: Pakistan 192-8 (Rizwan 40, Abbas 0) Rizwan is having fun now, cutting a ball from Curran that is barely short for four, then playing a cute ramp over the slips for four more. He made his Test debut, Wasim Akram points out, as a batsman.

Meanwhile Rob Wilson has written an essay. “I think this is a good moment to sing the praises of cricketing rain. Cricket rain is not like other rain. Unless inveterate liars or mountebanks, we all have to admit that some of our happiest afternoons have been brought to us by cricketing rain (which somehow seems more hopeless and permanent in the afternoons). It taught us patience as children, the futility of all human desire as teenagers.

3.34pm BST

77th over: Pakistan 183-8 (Rizwan 31, Abbas 0) The old ball is swinging so much that there’s a case for not taking the new one right away. Woakes, tired of beating the bat, slips in a rare yorker, which Rizwan does well to spot. Rizwan shovels for two and pulls for a single, leaving Abbas to face one ball, an inswinger that he inside-edges safely enough.

3.30pm BST

76th over: Pakistan 180-8 (Rizwan 28, Abbas 0) Curran to Abbas: one 80mph bowler to another. Curran thinks he’s got him with an inswinger that thuds into the pad, but there was an inside edge, and England review in vain.

3.25pm BST

75th over: Pakistan 180-8 (Rizwan 28, Abbas 0) Rizwan, who had pushed to gully’s right, knew there wasn’t a run there. Now, joined by Mohammad Abbas, he changes gear, goes down the track and swipes Woakes through square leg for four. A bit more of that, please.

3.20pm BST

He’s gone now! The trouble with blocking all day long is that you don’t get much practice at running. Shaheen sets off for a mad run and, madder still, takes on Dom Sibley’s golden aim. It’s a direct hit, no replays required. And that’s the end of a 19-ball nothing.

3.17pm BST

74th over: Pakistan 176-7 (Rizwan 24, Shaheen 0) It was a lovely ball from Curran, full and juicy and curling away, bringing the stumps into play in Nasser-pleasing fashion.

3.16pm BST

A camera over Root’s shoulder, looking down through his legs, shows the ball touching the grass. And Shaheen is free to resume what could be one of the all-time epic ducks.

3.14pm BST

Shaheen finally nicks one, which goes straight to Root at first slip, so low that he can’t be sure he’s taken it cleanly. The umps confer and the soft signal is out.

3.10pm BST

73rd over: Pakistan 175-7 (Rizwan 23, Shaheen 0) Woakes replaces Anderson, by the same token. He beats Shaheen three times, by wide margins, and Nasser Hussain tells him off for not bringing the stumps into play.

3.06pm BST

72nd over: Pakistan 174-7 (Rizwan 22, Shaheen 0) Broad goes off, so he can come back with the new ball, and here is Sam Curran. Rizwan takes his single; Shaheen gathers four more dots.

“Since you mentioned the legendary Tower of Song by the genius L Cohen,” says Ian Batch, “I thought I’d amend the lyrics to another genius (slow day at work).

3.01pm BST

71st over: Pakistan 173-7 (Rizwan 21, Shaheen 0) After being together for two and a half overs, these batsmen are already set in their ways: Rizwan takes a single, then Shaheen collects some dots. He has 11 of them so far.

2.56pm BST

70th over: Pakistan 172-7 (Rizwan 20, Shaheen 0) Shaheen Afridi has begun with some sturdy blocks, but Rizwan may have to be the man to lift Pakistan over 200. Which might be a decent score on this classic greentop.

2.54pm BST

69th over: Pakistan 171-7 (Rizwan 19, Shaheen 0) Anderson has three for 47, his best figures of 2020. His strike rate this summer, which a few minutes ago was three times Broad’s, is now 76 balls per wicket, to his old mate’s 28.

2.50pm BST

Yasir, no sir, you can’t fiddle about in the channel against Anderson’s outswinger on a day as dank as this. A regulation nick, a simple catch for Jos Buttler and that is Jimmy’s 593rd Test wicket.

2.46pm BST

68th over: Pakistan 170-6 (Rizwan 18, Yasir 5) You’re not going to believe this, but there’s been a bad ball. Broad dishes up a floaty half-volley, like Andy Caddick on an off day, and Yasir is good enough to give it the smack to the cover boundary that it was asking for. Later in the over, reverting to form, Yasir executes a failed leave. Much like the country he finds himself in at the moment.

2.43pm BST

Ha, thanks Rob and afternoon everyone. The lyrics of Creep and a Tesco clubcard, eh. For me, it would have to be Tower Of Song and a My Waitrose card.

2.41pm BST

67th over: Pakistan 166-6 (Rizwan 18, Yasir 1) Rizwan, on the drive, is beaten by a sumptuous nipbacker from Anderson. An even better delivery roars past Yasir’s outside edge later in the over.

Right, that’s it from me. Tim de Lisle will be with you for the next few hours. The England bowlers often talk about finishing a spell strongly before they hand over to the new man. With that in mind, I’d like to apologise to Tim for giving him a Jos Buttler dropped catch at the start of his stint. Please email him about other topics as well, or tweet @TimdeLisle.

2.36pm BST

66th over: Pakistan 164-6 (Rizwan 17, Yasir 0) Rizwan is dropped by Buttler! It was a really difficult chance, diving high to his left when Rizwan gloved a pull down the leg side.

“According to the Oxford English Dictionary the term ‘batter’ has been in use since 1783,” says Phillip Mallett, “when it appeared in a poem called Surrey Triumphant by one J. Duncombe: ‘At last Sir Horace took the field, / A batter of great might...’ Immortal words, I’m sure you’ll agree.”

2.32pm BST

65th over: Pakistan 160-6 (Rizwan 14, Yasir 0) Anderson boings a grotesque lifter past Rizwan’s outside edge. It’s all fun and games for England at the moment, though it might not be when Shaheen Afridi and Mohammad Abbas start bowling.

“How to make a proper brew,” says Lorraine Reese. “You’re welcome.”

2.27pm BST

64th over: Pakistan 158-6 (Rizwan 12, Yasir 0) That was terrific stuff from Broad in tremendous English batting conditions. With Babar gone, the house could fall down apace.

“Hi Rob”, writes Tom Paternoster-Howe, “the link you posted to the list of England Test cricketers serves to highlight James Anderson’s longevity to a quite remarkable degree. I hadn’t realised he’d been capped earlier than current chief national selector Ed Smith or former Director of Cricket Andrew Strauss. Is there any other Test player who started playing before any of the selectors who could select them?”

2.24pm BST

Stuart Broad takes the big wicket of Babar Azam. It was an excellent delivery: the line and length were immaculate, and it straightened just enough to square Babar up and shave the outside edge.

2.23pm BST

63rd over: Pakistan 158-5 (Babar 47, Rizwan 12) Anderson returns after lunch and starts with a rare no-ball, called by the third umpire. I just don’t know what’s going off up there.

2.15pm BST

62nd over: Pakistan 156-5 (Babar 46, Rizwan 12) Broad’s second ball after lunch is a beauty, fuller and snapping off the seam to beat Babar’s outside edge. Babar keeps the strike with a single off the last delivery.

“I don’t envy Alice her tea-making politics,” says Steve Tayler. “I hardly drink the stuff, so have no valid opinion. When I make tea for my wife, I put the milk straight in after the water. Sometimes this includes a trip to the fridge and back, and sometimes I’ve already done that. Then I fish the bag out, and that’s it. Caroline likes tea flavoured liquid I guess. My daughter Louise turns out to have been a builder in a previous existence, and insists on what seems like several minutes’ brewing. I understand there is a very helpful video on the subject, posted by an American woman.”

2.11pm BST

The players are back on the field. The lights are on but it’s still dry, and that’s good enough.

1.35pm BST

“We ought not to worry too much about ‘batters’ sounding like a Yorkshire pudding or frying wrap,” says John Starbuck. “After all, a wicket-keeper could be someone who maintains church gates, a fielder could be someone with a scythe and a bowler could be one of Francis Drake’s pals (or a hard hat).”

So what’s a silly point?

1.34pm BST

Play will resume at 2.10pm, though I fully expect the apocalypse to begin at 2:09:59.

1.33pm BST

61st over: Pakistan 155-5 (Babar 45, Rizwan 12) Curran moves around the wicket for the last over before lunch. Babar moves across his stumps to work a pair of twos; I think only six of 45 runs have been scored on the off side. Pakistan won’t mind that if he continues to bat with such serenity and authority. He has been superb, Mohammad Rizwan excellent, and Pakistan have had the better of the morning session.

“Good morning Rob,” says Adam Roberts. “This 6.30 start (for me) is much more user-friendly! I see there is a Covid spike in Orkney - hope you’re keeping safe. Don’t you think that my hero Randall - as well as Rhodes - tends to have his batting underestimated because of his brilliance in the field and his eccentricities?”

1.28pm BST

60th over: Pakistan 149-5 (Babar 40, Rizwan 11) There should be time for two more overs before lunch. Broad bowls the first, and bends his back to ram in a short that Babar avoids. He’s a class act, this chap: in his last 20 Test innings he averages 71.

“On the subject of fielding at short leg,” begins Ian Copestake. “Isn’t ‘spending time under the helmet’ a public-school thing?”

1.24pm BST

59th over: Pakistan 148-5 (Babar 40, Rizwan 10) Curran is swinging the ball both ways, and I suspect batting is nowhere near as comfortable as Babar and Rizwan are making it look. Their judgement, in attack and especially defence, has been excellent. Babar plays a defensive stroke off Curran that bounces up in the vague direction of the stumps, prompting him to shuffle back and guard his furniture. In the end it was nowhere near.

“I’m also struggling with the batsmen/batters thing,” says Bob O’Hara. “Partly because ‘batters’ sounds a bit too Australian, but also because it makes them sound like a piece of haddock.”

1.21pm BST

58th over: Pakistan 147-5 (Babar 40, Rizwan 9) We still talk about the Fab Four of world cricket, even though Joe Root was asked to leave the group a couple of years ago. The ICC rankings have Babar at No6, though I think he’s closest to the Triffic Three of Smith, Kohli and Williamson. Marnus Labuschagne hasn’t done it for long enough yet.

1.18pm BST

57th over: Pakistan 147-5 (Babar 40, Rizwan 9) Rizwan misses an attempted hook at a leg-side bouncer from Curran. Not much is happening, which is good for Pakistan given the friendliness of the bowling conditions. If it stays like this, 200 wouldn’t be a terrible first-innings score.

“Whilst following the lack of play today over a leisurely breakfast, my boyfriend and I got into a heated conversation,” writes Alice from London. “I poured hot water over my tea bag and approximately three seconds later added milk. He told me I was ‘a waking nightmare’. I did wait a minute before removing the teabag. He waited a full two minutes before removing the teabag and then adding milk. We are now driving to Hastings to visit some antique shops. He won’t speak to me. He insists it isn’t about the tea. I hope it’s the lack of play.”

1.12pm BST

56th over: Pakistan 146-5 (Babar 39, Rizwan 9) Broad replaces Woakes and starts with a quiet over, just a single from it. Pakistan have batted with calm authority this morning, Babar in particular.

1.08pm BST

55th over: Pakistan 145-5 (Babar 38, Rizwan 9) Sam Curran replaces Jimmy Anderson. His first over includes some encouraging inswing to the right-handers; when that is happening, Curran becomes infinitely more dangerous.

“Has short leg always been the job given to the newest/youngest member of the team?” says Gary Bartley. “A role to endure until some other young buck comes along? If so, who are the England team’s most famous short leg graduates? I seem to remember Ian Bell short legging for a while before rising up the pecking order. And Pope will surely graduate too in time. But how many others have successfully passed through?”

1.04pm BST

54th over: Pakistan 144-5 (Babar 39, Rizwan 8)

1.01pm BST

53rd over: Pakistan 142-5 (Babar 38, Rizwan 7) A maiden from Anderson to Babar, who looks relatively comfortable out there. It feels like the kind of the pitch (or rather overhead conditions) on which you are never in, yet Babar has looked in control.

“I do find the inconsistency around Chris Woakes fascinating,” says Glyn. “If Root doesn’t bowl him, then it’s because he doesn’t rate him highly enough, so people say. Then when he does bowl him (like now), there’s criticism because Broad isn’t bowling. It does feel that Woakes and Root are a bit in a no-win situation here.”

12.55pm BST

52nd over: Pakistan 142-5 (Babar 38, Rizwan 7) Woakes goes wider on the crease to beat Rizwan with a snorting outswinger. Masterful stuff.

“Chris Drew’s email prompted me to look up stats for first class wickets,” says Tom Wein. “The numbers are ridiculous - as is the gap between older and modern cricketers. Wilfred Rhodes took 4,204 first class wickets. That’s three times as many as Warne (1319). The top five first class wicket takers all played their cricket before the second war. They’re also all English - presumably because no one else’s cricket was considered worth labelling as first class until 1947.”

12.51pm BST

51st over: Pakistan 142-5 (Babar 38, Rizwan 7) Anderson is a touch too straight to Babar, who flicks him through midwicket for four like it’s the easiest thing in the world. When he gets his line just right later in the over, the ball zips past Babar’s attempted back-foot drive.

“Many years ago I played a game for the Duke of Cambridge pub against the adjacent Royal Military School of Music at Kneller Hall near Twickenham rugby ground,” says Matt O’Driscoll, who can also provide the date, weather conditions and what was No1 in the pop charts if required. “The pub landlord, an Irishman named Pat Madden, came out to bat in his first ever game of cricket. He held the bat as I believe a hurley is always held by a right hander, with the left hand below the right. His first ball was a full toss and it disappeared for six over cow corner, after which I think he may have retired to finish his drink and/or prepare for opening time.”

12.48pm BST

50th over: Pakistan 138-5 (Babar 34, Rizwan 7) Rizwan cuts Woakes towards third man for three. The ball is still doing a bit, and Woakes smiles when his last delivery swerves past Rizwan’s lunging drive.

“Regarding the batsmen-batters discussion: I’m fairly sure that ‘batters’ was the common term in the 18th century,” says D. A. Ibbotson. “Perhaps cricket is returning to its roots, time is a flat circle etc. etc.”

12.44pm BST

49th over: Pakistan 134-5 (Babar 33, Rizwan 4) A maiden from Anderson to Babar, who is beaten by the last two deliveries. The first was a loose cut stroke, the second a defensive push at a gorgeous outswinger.

“Hallo Rob,” says Peter Haining. “Before anyone asks…”

12.40pm BST

48th over: Pakistan 134-5 (Babar 33, Rizwan 4) Chris Woakes continues, which is a slight surprise given the existence of Stuart Broad. Babar takes him off middle stump for four, flicking wristily through square leg. Beautiful shot. Another clip off the pads later in the over brings three more.

12.36pm BST

47th over: Pakistan 127-5 (Babar 26, Rizwan 4) Jimmy Anderson is often unplayable in these conditions. Babar Azam does the sensible thing, taking a quick single to get down the other end, and Rizwan survives the remainder of the over.

12.32pm BST

46th over: Pakistan 126-5 (Babar 25, Rizwan 4) Mohammad Rizwan plays out the last two balls of the over.

12.29pm BST

The players are out on the field, and live sport is upon us. Chris Woakes has two balls remaining in his eigth over.

12.28pm BST

“Aah,” weeps Digvijay Yadav. “Steve Finn. Had everything going for him and after Edgbaston 2015 and that tour of South Africa mentioned, looked like he had all the issues (read run up) behind him. Then the next thing you know, he played his last Test for England aged 27.”

Before Jofra, I hadn’t seen an England bowler with as much potential – not even Steve Harmison. I suspect that ultimately Finn had too keen a mind for his own good. (This may also be Jos Buttler’s problem as a Test batsman.) There was a terrific chat with Finn during the lunch break of one of the South Africa Tests – he spoke about his career like he was his own biographer, with such insight and a complete lack of bitterness, frustration or self-pity.

12.22pm BST

ICYMI department

Related: Cricket Australia gets green light for limited-overs tour of England

12.20pm BST

“You do know that there are still some purists out there, short-form deniers, who only acknowledge Test match cricket as worthy of their time and of having value?” says Ian Copestake. “Twenty-what? OD-who? It’s five-dayers or nothing for this bunch. A pretty tight crew.”

Copestake, I’ve warned you before not to talk about this thing in public.

12.16pm BST

The batsman-wicketkeeper plot thickens

“In other news,” writes Ali Martin at the Ageas Bowl, “Jofra currently has the keeping gloves on (second day running).”

12.05pm BST

“There is another, very important, Jimmy stat looming on the horizon,” says Chris Drew. “A thousand wickets in first-class cricket. He’s currently on 967. Not many players in modern times will achieve that total.”

Especially if they are a seamer. I’m not sure who the last was, maybe Andy Caddick in 2005. A few spinners have achieved it since then.

12.01pm BST

Lunch is at 1.30pm and I don’t know what else to tell you.

11.56am BST

Batter v batsman “Also,” says Graeme Thorn, “‘batter’ introduces some symmetry - the other playing roles on the field are fielder, (wicket)-keeper and bowler, you don’t say ‘bowlsman’, ‘wicket-keepsman’ or ‘fieldsman’ very often, if at all.”

That’s a good email. Good enough, in fact, that I’ll forgive all those double quote marks I had to edit.

11.54am BST

“Good morning RA Smyth,” says James Debens. “Some cricketers are revealed to be mortals. I’d just watched Alan Igglesden bowl very well v Yorkshire (taking the wickets of Michael Vaughan and David Byas), only to watch in horror as he executed a 33-point turn in the car park of the Mote Park ground. Richie Richardson, in comparison, made an effortlessly smooth exit. Things were never the same for me after that summer of 1994, but at least I had Winnie by my side.

“PS Winnie being my Winfield jotter.”

11.52am BST

“As a kid, I used to the hold the bat by swapping my top and bottom hand,” says Damian Clarke. “No one in the colts or school picked up on it until until I joined Maidenhead and Bray at the age of about ten. In an early nets assessment session, a certain Michael Parkinson came over and asked just what the hell did I think I was playing at, and made me change my method. I thought he was very rude, but it did seem to work better, so begrudging respect was due, I suppose.”

I wish this was on YouTube.

11.50am BST

“When did they all become batters?” says Anthony Farmer. “It’s not baseball.”

There’s this new thing in society called ‘women’, I don’t know whether you’ve heard of them. (For what it’s worth, I still use ‘batsmen’ most of the time in men’s games, but surely you can understand why many people say ‘batter’.)

11.43am BST

“Steve Pye (11.07am) mentioned the Oval Test of 1995,” says Stephen Bickers. “Looking at the scoreboard, I see that three England players reached the 90s, but none of them made a century. Is that a record for players falling short in one Test match?”

Yep, though it’s shared with a few other teams, including West Indies in Trinidad in 1934-35 and Pakistan in Abu Dhabi in 2018-19.

11.36am BST

“In James Taylor’s all too brief England career he was brilliant at short leg,” says Graham Pierce. “He pulled off an absolutely belting catch there to dismiss Hashim Amla from a proper shot. It was such a shame he lost the chance to cement a position in the team and set the standard for close in fielding like that.”

He really was terrific. That South Africa tour of 2015-16 was sadly a false dawn for a few players: Taylor, Nick Compton, Steve Finn (who bowled magnificently) and even Trevor Bayliss as a Test coach.

11.28am BST

“It is possible for a right-hander to bat with his left hand below his right,” says Steve Hudson. “In the 1980s I played against a mid-Wales side that included a No 4 who did exactly that. He had played for the County side too, they said. It took some time to get used to the quirkiness of this. Anything (and I mean anything) pitched outside off stump was smashed along the carpet for four. After a while we realised that anything on leg stump left him completely strokeless. We stuck it there and he duly holed out.”

I’m trying to practise it now, admittedly with a coat hanger, and it just feels weird. I think I’ve put my back out, too, and I was only trying to steer it to third man for one.

11.25am BST

“I cannot believe Blur v Oasis was 25 years ago!” says Julie Wilson. “The year I went to Glastonbury where Oasis were playing and the year I got married!”

Time flies when you’r- wait, hang on.

11.23am BST

It has stopped raining and the clean-up operation is under way. There will be an inspection at 11.50am. In the meantime, I’m off to grab a coffee.

11.23am BST

“Not a slip or short leg, and not England, but Jonty Rhodes was clearly picked for his fielding - certainly in ODIs,” says Zadok Prescott. “His batting average was fairly... average, about 35 - but he would regularly add 15-20 runs saved with ridiculous stops - and batsmen certainly grew less likely to sneak a single anywhere near his backward point region. On top of the fielding runs he contributed - he would regularly pick up one or two wickets a match that were not really meant to be out with any other mere mortal fielding at backward point, either caught or run out. I’ve never seen a more pro-active fielder, he seemed to anticipate shots in his area and start moving before the batsmen completed the stroke, enabling him to make an extra few metres to make a runs save, catch or run-out.”

I’m not sure I agree that he was clearly picked for his fielding, even though he was outrageously good. I think he falls into the same category as Derek Randall - that if a selection was 50/50, maybe 45/55, he would get the nod. You could argue that because his fielding was so good he was slightly underappreciated as a batsman, certainly during his peak years in the late 1990s and early 2000s.

11.19am BST

“Why do people think that one rare excellent innings by Buttler, after an embarrassingly bad time keeping wicket, makes it the right to cement his place as wicketkeeper?” says Richard Smith. “He leaks runs behind the stumps, when he is up to the wicket for a spinner the ball invariably bounces off of him and he has no idea of stumping! For me the wicketkeeper has the only truly specialist fielding position and should have the best available ‘keeper’ in place.”

Whether you like it or not – and I think I might just know the answer – the role nowadays is batsman/wicketkeeper, not the other way round. It’s not going to change, so we might as well accept it and all send hate mail to Adam Gilchrist for vandalising culture with his genius.

11.15am BST

“It seems worth adding that England should never have the same wicketkeeper for all three formats,” says Tim Sanders. “This hasn’t been a problem so far because everyone got a rest in the spring, and then we had separate Test and ODI ‘bubbles’. But if the intention is to go back to how it was from 2014-2015, when Buttler kept wicket in Tests, ODIs and T20s, that would seem a mistake given the usual scheduling. I remember Buttler had to miss a few games with fatigue during that time. As a long-term admirer of Jonny, I feel a little sad to lean the opposite way to Vic Marks; and I am trying to be less curmudgeonly when Jos does well.”

I think this extended break is a good thing for Bairstow, who for his last 18 months in the Test match was repeatedly running head-first into a brick wall and telling everyone he was fine, he didn’t feel a thing. I wish he would help himself, though – his latest plan to bat No3 and keep wicket for Yorkshire is entirely ludicrous. For such a no-nonsense cricketer, he doesn’t half make some senseless decisions. But when he does get back in the Test team, as I suspect he will at some stage before the Ashes, I’d expect his batting form to be a lot closer to his 2016-17 best.

11.13am BST

“I am cheered that the world has come round to my way of thinking with your confirmation that 35 is the new 40,” says Ian Copestake. “I do however live in an even braver new world in which 51 is the new 35. Join us.”

11.08am BST

“With regards to John Starbuck’s email, last year the Australians were swooning about Bancroft’s close catching to the point it made one think that’s the reason he played,” says Digvijay Yadav. “In fairness, he was brilliant there. And I see that you let Hameed’s mention slide without a comment. I am sure there is a player there and one that’ll make it.”

11.07am BST

“Hi Rob,” says Steve Pye. “Staying on the nostalgic path that Gavin Monks strolled down, on this day in 1995 Mike Watkinson’s 82 not out helped England draw the fifth Test at Trent Bridge, and I dared to dream that England could beat the West Indies in a series. The pitch at the Oval didn’t really encourage a decisive result, though.”

I vividly remember driving home from work with my mum on the Friday afternoon of that Oval Test, listening to the radio as England posted an imposing 454, trying to get my head round the fact they were probably going to win a Test series against West Indies. Over the next 48 hours, West Indies scored the best part of 700. Is it any wonder I turned out like this?

11.03am BST

Here’s Iain Mott on the subject of batting stances. “I’m sure there was a Pakistan batsman, maybe in the 1970s, who played with his LEFT hand BELOW his right. Can anyone remember this?”

It was Wasim Raja. And all the other left-handers. But this is crap banter and you should ignore me, as you clearly meant a right-hander. I can’t think of anyone - surely that would be impossible? Even Paul Collingwood would deem such a grip to be a bit over the top (hand).

10.57am BST

“We’re all hoping and waiting for Jimmy to reach 600 Test wickets,” says Lorraine Reese, “but am I the only one thinking it would please the number geeks (of which I am one) if he got to 613?”

Ooh, good spot. If he finishes on 613 Test wickets it will be the second greatest stat involving an England cricketer.

10.53am BST

“We really ought to be hearing that the England coaching staff are prioritising close catching training, including analyses of position, stance and reactivity,” says John Starbuck. “Catches have always gone down at times and doubtless more will do so, but giving yourself an extra edge by having tip-top slips and other really close fielders should be imperative. On which note, I saw Haseeb Hameed take a couple of snorters at very short square in Notts’s last match. Has anyone ever been sacked/brought in for their close catching alone?”

Alan Oakman wasn’t picked for his ability at short square leg during the 1956 Ashes – but it helped. Derek Randall might have edged a 50/50 selection because of his fielding, though I don’t know of any examples on record. And though close catching isn’t the reason for his immortality, it would be remiss to post this entry without using the words Gary and Pratt.

10.48am BST

Twenty-five years ago today, two of Britain’s most popular pop groups released singles. Thanks to Gavin Monks for this particular nostalgic rush.

10.44am BST

Jos v Jonny v Ben v Jos v Jonny

“Morning Rob,” says John. “Am I alone in thinking that despite his innings to help win the match last time out - for which Buttler DOES deserve to have kept his place - he had another really poor day behind the stumps yesterday? He was moving back when Burns shelled the slip catch and should have been in place to take that, plus he failed to stop two or three down the leg side. Maybe I’m being unfair, but I guess I’ve just run out of patience, and I would bet money that he will never get his batting average up to 40. He’s just not good enough.”

10.39am BST

It’s grim down south, and I’d be surprised if we get any play before lunch.

9.37am BST

Pre-match reading

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Related: Sam Curran happy to pick Anderson's brains to help take wickets for England

Related: Fawad Alam's Pakistan comeback was ugly but earned after decade of graft | Andy Bull

9.31am BST

England don’t really draw Test matches any more: just five in the last 50 and two in the last 29, stats that deserves their own Cliff Richard song. But if they want to maintain a mood of result positivity over the next few days, they could face a race against time. Thunderstorms and bad light meant only 45.4 overs were possible on the first day at the Ageas Bowl, with Pakistan struggling to 126 for five against some challenging bowling. The forecast is equally moody for the rest of the match.

The good news is that, when the players are on the field, the game should rattle along at a decent pace. There was swing and seam for the England bowlers yesterday, so Mohammad Abbas in particular should enjoy himself when the time comes. Might be today, might be tomorrow; it’s beyond our control.

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