Sometimes We Live No Particular Way But Our Own: An Introduction

The story you are about to read is true at its core. So why does our hero bear the name of “Rob Gross” rather than that of the author? Does this make for a novel? Rob is an extension of me. The authors of many of my favorite books have used “alter egos” in those works. Was Hunter S. Thompson actually Dr. Raoul Duke? Should Sal Paradise be seen as simply Kerouac in disguise? Like “Fred Exley” in A Fan’s Notes or “Rob Fleming/Rob Gordon” from High Fidelity, (book/movie), Drunk On Sunday could be classified as a “fictional memoir.” However, the essence of the story is true. There are moments where Rob says and does as I wish I could have. But like the best books (many of which I just mentioned), movies and songs, the writer is the subject in the most important sense.
So why change anything? I also thought it responsible (not always my or Rob’s strong suit) to create characters so as not to alienate any of the former friends, girlfriends or employers they represent. Plus, where the writer ends and his “stand in” begins is where the art of a great story lies. What have been left unchanged are the things that I and Rob value most. The names of the books, bands, movies, and teams are left intact. Since so much of the tale that follows is about the struggle to keep adulthood, and the responsibility that accompanies it at bay, the real names of my wife and children remain. They are the end results of this story and represent its fairytale ending. Despite Rob’s best efforts to stave off the life a grown up, he’s left with the very things that make life worthwhile. Of course, it takes forty-two years for him to figure that out. The music, films and gridiron contests may not be considered vital by some, but they undoubtedly assist Rob towards his most gradual of epiphanies.
But I’ll let Rob speak for himself from here on in. These days, you can get all of a person’s vital “statistics” on their Facebook page. But Rob more likens this format to that of a football card.
Full Name: Robert Loren Gross. Yeah, I know the middle name’s not great.
Height: 5 Feet, 10 Inches. That’s what I’ve been putting down since I was 18.
Weight: 189 pounds at present, but within two years of college graduation I was up to 205. Apparently, eating and drinking like you are still in school will cause your head to swell up like a pumpkin. Seriously, I almost needed to have my face letterboxed on my driver’s license.
Favorite Film: What’s the best movie ever made? The Godfather. But if you ask me what’s my favorite movie? The Godfather, Part II. Actually, it’s really the Tahoe, Cuba and Washington scenes I love. If I could only watch 1 hour of something before the world ended, all the stuff that happens after the first film (and the stuff that wasn’t even in the book) would be it. Even with all its tragedy, many people think you can live your life by following the lessons learned from The Godfather. But real life is more like the sequel. It can get confusing and you don’t always know what things mean until later on. Lines can get drawn and then blurred. Shit can get a little murky, which is why you need to find your fun in life.
Favorite Band: The Grateful Dead, but not in the way that you’re thinking. You’ll need to forget all your preconceptions (negative ones, undoubtedly) about Deadheads. I also love, in no particular order, the Allmans, the Stones, the Boss, Zevon, Skynyrd, and Hendrix. Dylan and the Beatles are already implied, right? I’m a fan of any music that’s got a point to it. It could be jazz, blues, Sinatra or rap.
Favorite Sports Team: San Diego Chargers. The short version is that I saw quarterback Dan Fouts throw for more yards in a season that anyone before him. That’s what got me into football and the Chargers themselves. They seemingly passed on every down and no pickup game played at recess had running plays or blockers, anyway.
Lots of kids decide to like a team for far more insignificant reasons. But when they grow up, they trade in their “fan card” to become a follower of their home team. In New York, I even had two football teams to choose from. But being a fan that had never lived beyond the borders of New York became part of my identity. Plus, I have a hard time with letting go of things.
That’s one of the reasons for writing this book. When I read, watch or hear something I either think that it’s talking to me or about me. I guess you could say that makes me a bit of a romantic. Subconsciously, I’ve always felt like the things I’ve seen and done would make a great story. I still wear my favorite article of clothing from college, a buffalo plaid lumberjack jacket. I’ve had it for so long, it doesn’t even feel as itchy and unbreathable as it probably still is.
Actually, you could say that it’s the unofficial uniform of a wanderer. Brando wore it in On The Waterfront, even though that movie was shot in black in white. When they finally turned On The Road into a movie, Sal Paradise wore it throughout the film. I think they were just trying to remind the audience of Kerouac’s French-Canadian roots. But teenage Clark Kent even wears it in Superman: The Movie before he figures out who he really is. There’s no greater wanderer than Kal-El in secular storytelling.
Incidentally, I didn’t think that On The Road was half bad. I thought it was pretty faithful to the book. What really pisses me off is the constant remaking of movies that were good to begin with. What’s next, a “premake” of a film that hasn’t even been released yet? I’m also not a fan of the constant talk of “rebooting” a “franchise.” But, as the song says, you ain’t gonna learn what you don’t want to know.