You know you're Australian if…and other things

I'm not sure how it gets to be 3 weeks without a post, but there you go. I don't know where the time goes.

Apropos of nothing, I bought a new bed. They delivered it today, and I was very much looking forward to it, because the bed I've been sleeping on I've been sleeping on for 19 years, and mattress technology has changed a lot in that time. And also I am old now, and I ache a lot. They have mattresses for achy people these days.

I bought a slat bed, which I've never had before, but putting...