Dear Cassey: How do I stop caring about what other people think?

Hi Cassey!

My freshman year of high school, this girl (a former friend) always told me to stop eating sugar because I’ll get “fat.” I don’t care about what I look like as long as I am healthy, but her judgment has stuck with me all these years and I still think about what she said to me every time I eat something “unhealthy.” Now, I let everything people say about me get under my skin. I value everyone’s opinion of me too much because I don’t want to disappoint them. This is very tiring to me as I want to be able to be me, but I don’t want to be judged. I don’t want someone’s opinion of me and my lifestyle to bother me this much, but I don’t know how to change my mindset. How can I live my life while not caring about what others think of me? How can I start to feel more confident in my own skin without seeking validation from others first?

Sincerely,

Needing Some Confidence

Hey Needing Some Confidence,

Wow. Isn’t it crazy that comments from an old friend so long ago have made such an impression on your confidence?! It just goes to show that even if it seems like our words are just words, they’re really not. Those words actually shape the image we have of ourselves…if we let them. And guess what? You’re not going to let them anymore.

Obviously that friend wasn’t the ideal, supportive bestie that you deserve. So my first piece of advice is to make sure you’re surrounding yourself with people who will support your values and lifestyle. You can’t build your confidence and live without fear of judgment if you’re still surrounded with judgy people. Choose your tribe wisely, and don’t be afraid to ask for support – like you’re doing right now!