The Fiver | Manchester United, Fred the Red and that slender five-goal advantage

Sign up now! Sign up now! Sign up now? Sign up now!

In these troubling times, nothing compares to the healing power of a Big Vase dead rubber. Tonight, Manchester United will drink in the LASK-chance saloon, where the booze is free and it’s impossible to get barred. United won 5-0 at LASK in the first leg, back in those innocent times when Boris Johnson was still licking trolley handles to demonstrate there was nothing to worry about. Given how little is at stake, the second leg could make the Craggy Island All-Priests five-a-side Over-75s Indoor Challenge Football Match seem fast-paced by comparison.

Related: Travel bans could force clubs to drop out of European competition, says Uefa

Continue reading...