WIP Diagnostic: Is This Working? A Closer Look at Creating Tension in an Opening Page

Critique By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

WIP Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to WIP Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines.

Submissions currently in the queue: Two

Please Note: As of today, critique slots are booked through August 15.

This week’s questions:

1. Is this a strong enough hook?

2. Does the "voice" read as a 12-year-old?

3. Does the last paragraph contain too much internal exposition and veer into "telling"?

Market/Genre: Middle Grade

On to the diagnosis…

Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com