Discovery

Wow.
That's the feeling I want.

Who is this guy?
That's the question I long for.

What else has he done?
Someone randomly stumbling across another artist in the era of everybody-is-an-artist-nowadays.
I do it all the time.

I just did it, in fact.

A song that I find randomly on iTunes that I end up listening to over and over and then wanting more. Downloading the album using my gift card from Christmas and feeling like something inside of me has expanded. Its an album that fits me now in this moment for some reason.

Music does that. So do movies. And so do books.
The same way I'm feeling now is the way I hope others out there feel the first time they pick up one of those multi-colored Travis Thrasher novels.

I know there is indifference. I know there are feelings of mediocrity. I look at my work all the time and feel all those things and much worse. But then again, there are times when I long for and live for the moments when I heard someone somewhere saying "I just finished (insert book title) and you're my favorite author now."
Perhaps it's just the moment and that feeling at the end of a story that resonates. But regardless, it's a good feeling.

I think it's the voice and the worldview and the way of putting things. I don't do it better than everybody and hopefully I don't do it worse. But I really believe that the longer time goes by, I'm making that voice and worldview fresh in a way that only I can.
Like the grainy voice accompanied by strange sounds and odd accents and lyrics that linger. Something that sounds different and unusual.
That's what I love and what I long to do.

I know some of my work doesn't achieve that. But I'm getting there. And hopefully the later work can be better appreciated by the earlier work.

I don't know. Maybe that's all in my head.

I know I love seeing the progression of any artist I love. I saw Warrior last night and continue to love Tom Hardy. I want to see some of his early work, some of the movies where he had a simple role or a few simple lines.
That guy was incredible.

That's what I thought about him last night watching that movie.

That guy's on a different planet.

That's what I strive for in my writing.

Okay, saying I'm from a different planet might not be the thing I'm looking for.

I'll just take the Who is this guy and what other books has he written?
Then they see this long list of titles and don't even know where to start.
Yeah. That's fun.

And I've said this before and I'll say it again, but I feel I'm still just warming up.
I'm still young for the writing profession.

Of course, I'm going to keep saying that the rest of my life.