WIP Diagnostic: Is This Working? A Closer Look at Setting the Opening Scene

Critique By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

WIP Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to WIP Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines. 

Submissions currently in the queue: Four

Please Note: As of today, critique slots are booked through August 1.

This week’s questions:

This is the opening of a ‘Neo Victorian Space Opera’. Sort of Captain Kirk meets Captain Hornblower. Is this short introduction is capable of inspiring the reader to keep going? Both characters become POV characters and often observe each other’s actions in this manner. Does this introduce them and the prospect of their stories? It is a YA story for young men to grow up on, mentor and trust, blended with swashbuckling and galaxy hopping adventure. Does the atmosphere begin to grow on you or is it to vague?

Market/Genre: YA Science Fiction

On to the diagnosis…
Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com