Being Honest About Worry
@bethvogt
I worry about my mother-in-law every single day.
I’m familiar with humorist Erma Bombeck’s assessment of worry: “Worry is like a rocking chair; it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.”
Still, I find myself rocking away day after day.
Ruth – “MiMaw” to her four grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren – turns 102 years old in October and lives in an assisted nursing facility all of six minutes from our house. But because of the coronavirus pandemic, we haven’t seen her since March.
We understand the facility has restricted visitors for the residents’ safety during the pandemic. We’ve accepted – a bit begrudgingly – that we can’t drop off flowers to her. What’s the point when anything coming into the building is liberally doused with Clorox?
Yes, my mother-in-law is undeniably old. Her bodily strength failed her to the point she can no longer care for herself or walk, but anyone who meets her is always surprised how sharp she is for her age.
Until COVID-19 confined her to a small room all day, every day, since mid-March.
Four months of isolation is its own type of crisis.
As the weeks have gone by, she’s struggled more and more to remember things. We’re limited to phone calls with her, sometimes two or three phone calls each day. Often Ruth will call us an hour or so after we’ve talked to her and she’ll have no recollection of our previous conversation.
Ruth struggles remembering what day of the week it is. Hey, don’t we all? But now she also struggles remembering our children’s names, her grandchildren’s names, where they live, and if my husband, her only child, has a job.
The irony in all of this?
The isolation that has so far protected my mother-in-law from COVID-19, has created another very real problem for her. The stress of the ongoing confinement has harmed her mentally and emotionally.
She’s being taken care of – protected, even. And we are thankful.
But my mother-in-law is separated from family members who love her like no one else can. Physical touch? Minimal. Conversation with others? Minimal. Entertainment? Limited to enjoying audiobooks and the view out her window. TV? Not so much, due to her severe macular degeneration.
We hope to see my mother-in-law next week. She’ll leave her room – finally! – for a controlled 30-minute visit on the covered patio in the fresh Colorado air.
With masks.
No touching.
No hugs.
We’ll take it. We can only hope and pray she’ll remember our time together
This is hard, real life during a pandemic. Thousands of other people face the daily loss of time with elderly family members, too.
This emotion I experience every day that I so easily label worry? If I examine it more closely, it’s a mixture of worry and grief and a certain resigned acceptance. I’m learning to take each day as it comes while continuing to hold on to hope and looking for reasons to be thankful. Care to join me?
Being Honest About Worry https://bit.ly/38A0BkS #pandemic #family
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'The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.' Quote by Audrey Hepburn https://bit.ly/38A0BkS #relationships #isolation
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