“He wasn’t exactly the straight and narrow type. He dropped out...

“He wasn’t exactly the straight and narrow type. He dropped out of high school and joined the Navy. He met my mom while watching the Stanley Cup in a midtown bar. Both of them were pretty big partiers at the time. But when I came along, my dad said: ‘We’re going to settle down. And we’re going to start a family.’ But my mom wasn’t ready to leave it all behind. So I was born into what would become a very turbulent home. It was a two-bedroom apartment next to a busy road in New Jersey. I think it was always meant to be a starter home. But my dad ended up raising three children there. For ten years he slept on a pullout couch in the living room, so that the rest of us could have our own bedroom. He always held multiple jobs to make ends meet. We didn’t get fancy things. But we never went hungry. And even though he dropped out of high school, he always insisted on education. When I was a little girl, he’d squeeze next to me at the kitchen table every Thursday night, still in his mailman’s uniform, so he could prepare me for my spelling test on Friday. He’d treat it like a courtroom cross-examination. He’d go down the list of words, and any time I struggled, he’d say: ‘Are you asking me? Or are you telling me?’ He wouldn’t stop until I had every one correct. Then I’d ask if we could move on to the next subject. But he’d always suggest we take a break first. He’d go off to cook dinner, and somehow we never got back to it. I’d finish the rest of my homework alone. But I was a motivated student. I got accepted into one of the best high schools in the state. And all three of us ended up graduating college. To this day, my dad says: ‘The best thing I ever had was you.’ He was the only one of his siblings who never bought a house. But no house could be worth what he gave us. A few years ago, I was sitting next to him at Thanksgiving dinner. We started talking about childhood memories, and I asked him: ‘What was the deal with the spelling? Why were so intense about it?’ He laughed, and said: ‘I chose spelling because the answers were right in front of me. It’s the only subject I could help you with. But I knew if I pushed you on that, you’d take care of the rest.’”