Tutorial Tuesday – Love is a Battlefield

When it comes to writing a love story, whether it be in erotica or any other genre, your best bet is to turn it into a war.  Without a struggle of some sort, love in your novel can be as bland as a rice cake.
It doesn't have to be a monumental battle, with the couple screaming at each other or striving against Romeo-and-Juliet sized obstacles.  Little ongoing skirmishes will suffice.  After all, even the most well-adjusted relationships have issues.  Case in point:  my in-laws are coming up on their 60th wedding anniversary, and you've never seen a pair more devoted to each others' wellbeing.  That doesn't stop my father-in-law from teasing my mother-in-law about her enjoyment of the casino a mile down the road, even though he knows she really, REALLY hates his comments about her being easily lured to the nickel slots.   
For instance, one day I asked my Native American mother-in-law, "What does your Mohawk name mean?"
Before she could respond, my father-in-law yelled out (with great delight), "Slot machine!"
And the fight started.  Two days later, there was another one over him calling the casino, 'Mom's office'.  No, she doesn't have a gambling problem at all, but Dad simply can't deny himself the opportunity of getting under her skin.  This is their little war, the salt and pepper of an otherwise placid and happy dish of existence.
 Drawing the Lines of Battle
To turn your love story into a war, the combatants must have something to be passionately at odds about.  It could be an ideal.  In my novel Alien Embrace, the extraterrestrial Kalquorian clan is determined to seduce Earther Amelia Ryan initially because their race is in danger of extinction.  She in turn is determined to not be seduced because she has been convinced sex, especially sex with aliens, is a sin.  The resulting struggle is only complicated, not resolved, when the three alien men and Amelia fall in love with each other.
Your lovers can be equally adverse to each other because of character flaws.  In my second novel Alien Rule, Jessica McInness initially despises Kalquorians Clajak and Egilka for their self-absorbed and bigoted attitudes.  Even the more palatable Bevau is deemed an occasional bully.  For the aliens' part, they find Jessica just as irritating because of her easily set-off temper and the insults she hurls at them.  
Then you could have a situation that embroils your lovers in a seemingly no-win situation.  Once Jessica and Clajak's clan gets past their personal disagreements to find their hearts' desire with each other, they still have to face objections to their union from their respective planets.  The battleground of their would-be love threatens to set off an actual war.
The Combatants:  Do We Care About Them?
To make the war work and to make your readers suspend disbelief long enough to get swallowed by the story, your characters have to be people they care about.  But how do you do that?
First of all, let your characters acknowledge they're at war.  Rajhir and his clan in Alien Embrace know they have to get Amelia's cooperation, even if it means coercion.  Amelia fights her growing passion for the clan in her determination to do what she feels is morally right.  In Alien Rule, Jessica calls Clajak's clan every name in the book and does her best to avoid them.  In turn, the three men take it upon themselves to put her in her place.  When they finally stop fighting each other, they acknowledge the battles they face to stay together.
Secondly, your characters have to feel strongly about the situation they find themselves in.  Ambivalence about the war raging around them will not captivate your readers.  Your characters must have everything invested in winning the fight, even to the point where they will risk that which means the most to them.
Finally, your characters must be fully realized and sharply defined.  They can't be a general representation of their class, gender, and culture.  These must be individuals who don't fall into easy categories or stereotypes.
So next time you sit down at your computer, think about the causes your characters believe in, understand what motivates them to fight, and find them weapons to wield.  Then have them declare full-on war.