Are You The Queen of England in Relationships?
Is this real life though? Or just another wall? Don’t we have to abandon who we think we are sometimes in order to learn something new?
Yesterday, I met with a new friend in clay class. She had my same peppy energy and seemed like a new person I could really have a good time with.
We met today outside of clay class to make glass fusion in her garage. I showed up eager and with no expectations. She taught me and I listened. She was the teacher. The expert in her field. I knew not a thing.
Turns out, she’s a conservative, I’m a liberal. She’s red, I’m blue. She’s more of a concrete black and white thinker (former teacher), and I can see more than my own perspective and see many shades of gray (nurse.)
Then, she asked who I was and I told her. She liked me enough to hear me out, stayed inquisitive, and didn’t shut me down. And then, I liked her enough to listen with an open mind to what she had to say, I stayed inquisitive and learned about who she is.
We talked about politics, global warming, healthcare, racism, our pasts, addiction, parenting, mental illness, marriage, the state of the world today, and what we would like to see happen differently. And, although we differed on many of the things we discussed today, we still enjoyed one another’s company.
We were mature enough to know that each of us bring to the table differing opinions, experiences, and beliefs, —not to mention generational differences— she is 70, I am 52. But, each of us honored our truths without belittling, negating, one-upping, or demanding the other change their reality or experiences in life to suit the other.
As a result, we laughed, listened with an open heart to each other’s stories, learned, taught, and held space for each other without walking away saying, “Not a match!”
When reading things on the internet, like the attached meme, make sure you don’t read them so literally that you are fencing yourself in, and icing out others. That person that did you wrong, is not this person.
We are not the Queen of England and no one needs to bow to, acquiesce, or work to make us comfortable. I didn’t need her to stop being who she was to interact with little ole me. And she didn’t require anything from me other than what I already brought to the table and laid in front of her.
I never once felt like I was abandoning or betraying myself while trying to get to know my new friend.
She enjoyed our conversations and company so much that I am invited back tomorrow for more of the same. And, I am more than eager to go.
As I left, she squeezed me in a hug saying I was her new BFF; me thanking her for her time and company saying she was just what I needed.
My point? — Do yourself a favor. Get off the internet and stop allowing memes like this to be your philosophy in life and be the change you want to see in the world. Get along with people. No one owes us comfort. Do yourself a favor.
Stay.
