Evil Auction 5

"Come, come ladies," the auctioneer pleaded, "surely the Brad Pitt/George Clooney twosome is worth more than seventy-three dollars and sixteen cents. Remember, this is for a worthy cause, the Borders Bookstores Bailout Fund." But there were no more bids, and the gavel came down. "Sold! To the gin soaked woman with the talking dog."

"We come now to our final item up for bids," the auctioneer said. "Your last chance to avoid going home alone to the Lifetime Channel movie and a carton of Ben and Jer