WIP Diagnostic: Is This Working? A Closer Look at Show, Don't Tell in an Opening Page

Critique By Maria D'Marco

WIP Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to WIP Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines.

Submissions currently in the queue: Four

Please Note: As of today, critique slots are booked through July 18.

This week’s questions:

1. Is it better as first person or should it be written as third person

2. Should I develop the main character before this segment or is this okay as a start of a story.

3. Is there too much telling?

4. Would you want to keep reading?

Market/Genre: Unspecified

On to the diagnosis…
Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com