LETTING GO OF EGO

If you ever feel like  there's this underlying uneasiness that we can feel in life sometimes , like we are never really fully content with how things are and something could always be better.



Today we are delving into what might be the root cause of some of those feelings in ways that we can overcome it in a way to create space to feel content, not like a shallow short-lived happiness but finding balance calmness and peace in our everyday lives.
Just to give you a little bit of background, the information I am sharing in today's  blog post  is based on a book that I finished reading recently. It's called "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. It's one of the few resources I have come across in my life that shifted the way my mind works and how I process my emotions.
In the book, Eckhart Tolle introduces the concept of having an ego, which is usually an attribute we associate with somebody who feels like they are a lot better than everyone else. That's not what I want you to think, Instead. I want you to see the ego as this identity that we have created about ourselves.
For example, you might say I am a really good illustrator, I am a hard worker ,I am a multi -tasker and I am also an anxious person,I keep making stupid life choices, I don't think anyone likes me ,and this and that thing about my body are ugly in all of these thoughts whether they were positive or negative, the ego is hidden in the words “I”, “me”,” my” or” mine”.
 I am a hard worker, my body is ugly - these beliefs about our personalities, our talents ,our abilities, -these are our ego. It's a mental construction that we have created of ourselves. So it's our self-image and it's artificial. The more we identify with these things as being real the more the ego creates emotional drama in our lives.





 Characteristics of the EGO 
Attachment:
There's a few aspects of the ego that are really important to point out for one the ego loves to identify with things that enhances its sense of self-worth. Like That's my car , my partner, my clothes, this is my life, my story .
Comparison:
The ego also loves to compare - comparing our positive attributes to someone else's negative attributes or the other way around like for example saying something like , Everyone around me seems to have their life together, and I don't know what I'm doing Or why am I always the hard worker and he's always so lazy.
Using Labels:
The ego loves to attach itself to labels because labels enforce that sense of self. Those people are successful -I'm a failure or I'm a hard worker that person is lazy. "Me" Vs "them" and when wevalidate labels we feed the ego .

Complaining:
Complaining is another aspect of the ego and also helps to strengthen it whether we're just complaining silently to ourselves mentally or when we vocalize it and complain out loud. We complain about the situation that we're in or how someone acted or how we look the ego just feeds off of the drama.

Let's say for example that we don't like how we look subconsciously without even being aware of it the ego tells us that maybe if we buy more beautiful things then we too will be beautiful. Maybe these new material possessions will boost our self-worth, but the thing with the ego is  it is never fully satisfied that feeling of pleasure that comes after some retail therapy is always short-lived because the ego is already looking for something else ,wanting something more.

So what’s the remedy to it?
Its transcending the ego
Eckhart  Tolle says that the key to Transcending the ego is to simply become aware of it.  The problem is the ego is usually hidden in the stream of unconscious thoughts that runs through our heads so rapidly every single day but as soon as we become aware of the thoughts, the attachments, the labels, the comparing, the complaining, we are no longer the thoughts. We are now the awareness,the person observing the thoughts, the thoughts are just thoughts, the feelings are just feelings, but they are not us. We are not identified with it and so awareness of the ego is the key to transcending it.
Spotting the Ego
If we want to easily spot the ego we just need to look for the trail of emotional drama, it leaves behind in our lives and it manifests itself in feelings of dissatisfaction, anxiety, anger, insecurity these feelings are usually strongly associated with our sense of self image. So anytime you notice yourself saying the words "I", "me" , "my",or "mine" chances are your ego is at play here.
For example we never really cared about the car until it became my car, we didn't feel jealous about that person until it became my partner, I wouldn't have cared about the mobile phone at the store but as soon as my mobile phone breaks I'm upset.
Another really easy way to spot the ego is anytime we feel like we don't have enough of something because the ego always  wants more - more success, more money ,more attention, more pleasure. Anytime it doesn't feel like it has enough of something  it can make us feel like we are the ones that aren't enough and the thing with the ego is we can never really fully ever get rid of it completely ,It's always going to be there but how strong of a role it plays in our lives depends on how much we let it run free unconsciously and the key word there is unconsciously.
 How can we Reduce the presence of Ego?
So now that we know how to spot the ego, Let’s go over some ways that we can reduce its presence in our lives kind of actionable items that we can put into practice today.
Being more open and honest
You know how sometimes a friend or family member asks how you are doing and you are like, oh Yeah, I am really good even though you know, that's not true. That's the ego . It's trying to maintain a certain self-image maybe that of being happy or perfect. So instead try being open and honest and tell the person how you feel, This isn't just say go ahead and complain that would be the ego again, but just state the facts you'll notice that so much Stress is lifted off of your shoulders when you do .
 Being Selfless and provide value
Another thing that we can do is to find the value in the work that we do seeing how our work provides value instead of viewing it as something that we do for recognition or for fame or monetary gain. The ego hides behind the "I" and the "Me". So if we act in a selfless way for other people, this is another way we can transcend the ego doing things not because we expect something in return but doing it because we feel it benefits the greater good in some way.
Being in the Now
Finally the last place that the ego just really doesn't exist in our lives is when we are in the present moment because the ego can't be busy thinking about the past or worrying about the future when it's in the now or when we are in the now.
For everyone being in the present moment can come about in different ways. Let's look at few examples- If you are  painting and you are really engrossed in it, or for some people they are more in the moment when they are meditating or exercising or doing yoga ,spending time in nature, writing gratitude lists, playing with their pets. It's these moments that's also know as the "now moments" when the ego isn't present in our lives and these concepts of the ego that I have shared here are just the basics of what the ego is and the role that it can play in our lives.
What I have shared is nothing compared to the depths and insights that Eckhart Tolle shares in his books .It's one of those books I know I'm going to return to over and over.  It explores the topic so much more depth. The scenarios are just incredible. I wholeheartedly recommend the book.
I really hope that you found today's topic valuable and it helped to relieve any uneasiness you might be feeling in your life to help you understand it a little bit better. I know that it did for me for sure. Just Personifying the ego separating it from ourselves and observing it, what it does, how it behaves, it really helps to not put so much of the pressure on ourselves. At least that's how I felt about it.
Suggested reading

A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle

Power of Now by Exkhart Tolle