And You Say, You Should Have Talked

With my shivering hands

Noisy mind

racing heart

putting myself behind

I typed a message

I told her I need help

I am done with my life

I was labeled as a VICTIM-PLAYER

a DRAMA QUEEN

I was shut down

I needed psychiatrist to see, she said

and laughed sarcastically

and you say you could have talked

I gathered courage to die again

this time through the hands of

a friend of mine

to face my inner demon

I typed a message in vain

I explained what I feel

I wanted him to help me heal

he said you OVERTHINK loud and clear

and shut me down

and you say could have talked

we talk through our emotions

we talk through our movements and motions

we talk through our body language

it is your fault if you cannot gauge

you choose to ignore

and then you make noise galore

people decay

they die

because it doesn’t looks for real

no one listens to their silent cry

I was alive before I died

and trust me I tried

but I could not get help

I wanted it all to end

I ended it my way and you say, you could have talked...

P.S: This is what exactly goes into the mind of someone who is going through depression and any other kind of mental illness. This free-verse poetry is just a message for those who say that you could have talked, so it is time to introspect, someone might have tried to talk and you would have shut them out like this. Don’t shut people down, if you can not help them get someone else who can.

love, Priyanka