The Making of Gulabo-Sitabo: How The Film Got Its Name
Fatima Begum had a say in it.
Gulabo SitaboWe’ll give him a new nose na, said the writer Juhi Chaturvedi.
She and director Shoojit Sircar were deciding on the get-up for the actors.
You are too good, he said. Bachchan sir is meticulous about such things; he has a thick nose for minding his own business anyways.
I know, I heard he invoices his tweets, she said.
For what? He asked.
For his staff, he pays them per tweet they type baba, she said.
No, said Sircar. He can’t be that chindi.
Hah! She mimicked her own laughter and said, Money flattens class.
They were sitting in actor Farrukh Jaffar’s house. They had come to see her for the role of Begum in the film. Jaffar returned from the kitchen with cups of elaichi tea for her guests.
Sircar looked into his bag and said, Shit, I forgot the organic bread.
I told you to pick it on the way, said Chaturvedi. She sounded irritated. Ab peeso chakki ghar jaa ke.
Arre arre, aap log jhagda na karein, the weak-kneed Jaffar stood up from her antique green cushioned rosewood chair to return to the kitchen.
That re-re-reminds me, what w-w-will we do of Ayushmann, he asked hesitantly, trying to divert the conversation.
This exactly, haklana-tutlana, we have to give him one of your nervous ticks, she said.
Jaffar placed a pink cream cake on the table.
Organ jaisa bread toh nahi hai, she said, cake se kaam chala lo.
She smiled like a dowager offering crumbs to the needy.
Chaturvedi sheepishly looked at Sircar, forgetting for a fleeting moment that they were on a strict diet.
Isn’t she perfect? she said, tucking into a slice of ittar-smelling cake.
They told Jaffar they were taking her for the role of Begum.
Film ka kya naam bataya aapne, Jaffar asked.
Fatima Mahal, said Sircar. Film mein aap ka naam Fatima hoga.
Yeh toh rasool Muhmammad ki beti ka naam hai, said Jaffar.
They looked at her and then at each other to keep it together.
Aisa kariye, aap film ka naam badal dijiye, said Jaffar.
They looked at her and then at each other, trying to stay in this together.
Waise toh naam accha hai, par aaj kal ka mahaul toh aap dekh hi rahe hain, Jaffar trailed off.
Nehru ke zamane mein toh log shayad naam sunn kar picture dekhne aa bhi jaate…Taj Mahal, Sheesh Mahal, Khooni Mahal…
Chaturvedi and Sircar smiled at each other.
Fatima Mahal mahal kum aur mazaar zyada sunai padhta hai. Kaun aayega mujhe dekhne?
Jaffar’s chuckle bounced like the laughter of children in a bus riding over a bumpy road.
Film ka naam kuch uut-pataang rakhiye…kuch aaltu-faaltu….jaise Gulabo Sitabo, said Jaffar. Jaise aap dono.
Chaturvedi and Sircar didn’t know where to look.
Shoojit Sircar, Juhi Chaturvedi.
