Believing in oneself.

We all have insecurities. No matter who we are, or where we are from. Rich or poor and whatever the colour of our skin maybe, humans by their very nature feel insecure about themselves and where they fit in to society. As children we don’t see our differences but as we grow these thing are pointed out by others around us.

When I was a child we lived in a tied cottage. Tied cottage in Britain means a dwelling owned by an employer that is rented to an employee. If the employee leaves their job they may have to vacate the property; in this way the employee is tied to their employer. The cottage came with my father’s job at the mill. One year when it was my birthday, I invited a school friend to my birthday party, but she turned up her nose, saying ‘No, because you lived in a dirty house full of rats.

[image error]The cottage is the grey building. The big house was next door. My father is fixing the family car.

Understandably she wasn’t my friend anymore, but it stays with me. When my parents got divorced my mother, sisters and I had to move out of our home and this left me feeling insecure. As a child, I never believed it was possible for someone like me to one day be the owner of my own home. That to own a house meant no one could take my home away from me again. It hasn’t always been an easy ride for me. When my own marriage broken down, I feared losing my home again, but this time I had a young son to take care of as well. I received a letter from my building society, (now a large bank) to say that I wasn’t in a position to continue with the mortgage. A visit to the bank about the letter left me feeling very anger after they messed me about. I went to another bank in the same street. The lady manager sat me down, and I showed her the letter and explained my situation. She told me, ‘You can do this. You don’t need anyone’s else help. Now you go back to your building society and made demands on them. You’ve always pay on time, and never fallen behind on your payments.’ I did what she told me to do. I thank the gods that they were watching over me that day and sent me to her. Blessed are strong-minded women.

[image error]My parents taking their first holiday away together. It was to be their last together too.

I’m proud of what I have achieved through hard work and long hours of overtime on low pay. I had basic school education, but my love of books and my need to learn has carried me forward. Unable to afford books of my own the library gave me all I needed. Though, believing in oneself can’t be learnt from books, only though experiences.

As a writer, human insecurities makes for a great read. Most plots are based on our insecurities and weaknesses. whether that be crime, romance, family sagas etc. To experience our own insecurities gives us the ability to write about them with compassion and understanding whoever we are, or whatever colour our skin may be.

Much love and peace to you all.