Where Did You Learn What?
Roary and Fordham Ram
I have several absolutely charming younger relatives who are in college right now. Covid-19 sent them back from attending college away from home—or in one case, may keep him from going away to college next year. They’re all smart. All academically gifted. They are definitely equipped to learn remotely.
But I find myself thinking about all the lessons I learned that I wouldn’t have learned if I hadn’t gone away to college. One of the most important was learning how to deal with difficult people. While I had many terrific roommates (shout out to Sue Koss, Kathy Curran, Rosemarie Connors, and Gloria Gonzalez, among others), I also had some ugly experiences as well. These included three older girls coming into my room one night and trying to intimidate me into moving out.
Yes, Old Debbie, New Debbie, and Chris, I haven’t forgotten how you came to my bedroom doorway (we were in an apartment-style dorm) when you knew Sue was away and told me I should move out, ending with, “Do you really want to live with people who HATE you?”
I hope you remember this incident, too, and burn with shame that you could do that to an eighteen-year-old away from home for the first time, right after her parents had just split. Why? Because you wanted my space for one of your pals.
While that was the worst and most dramatic incident, it wasn’t the only such nasty event.
But I learned from it and, to this day, I know I can deal with bullies.
I learned to manage my time, a skill which remains incredibly valuable. I learned to manage my money. Ditto. I learned how to interact with a wide variety of people in a wide variety of posts, because if I didn’t, there was no one I could turn to.
I realize in this day and age of cellphones and helicopter parenting, your average college students aren’t as thrust upon their own resources as I was, but still, I’d like to think that most college students want to try to solve their own problems before scurrying off to the folks.
There are other things I learned. I was exposed to books and music that had nothing to do with my lessons, but which certainly shaped who I have become. I learned that there are a lot of different sorts of family dynamics. I heard wonderful anecdotes. I played a lot of AD&D and Traveller. I made decisions about drinking and drugs that had nothing to do with whether or not I’d get “caught.”
I learned a lot in college, both in the classroom and out. Where did you learn your most valuable lessons? I’d love to hear from the commuters, too!
