Dreaming up Sevia (Random Writing Tip #1)
If at all possible, avoid using the passive voice in your writing. The passive voice, sometimes called passive tense, is used when the subject of your sentence is being acted upon, rather than doing the action. Confusing? Some examples may help.
1. Passive Voice: Snow White was given an apple by the witch.
2. Active Voice: The witch gave Snow White an apple.
In Sentence One, Snow White is the subject of our sentence, but she's not doing anything except standing there (presumably with outstretched hand.) A sentence isn't very interesting if your subject doesn't do anything.
In Sentence Two, the subject of our sentence is now the witch. Snow White hasn't gone anywhere, she's just not our subject anymore. Since she wasn't doing anything, she had no business being the subject in the first place.
Here are a couple more Passive/Active pairs to help you get the concept into your brain.
1. The heavy shopping cart was pushed by the little boy.
2. The little boy pushed the heavy shopping cart.
1. Bob was helped down the steps by Rob.
2. Rob helped Bob down the steps.
If you want to improve your writing overnight, one of the best ways to do that is to change your Passive Voice constructions to active ones.
When proofreading your own writing for passive voice, look out for "He WAS something-ed BY something" constructions. The "was/by" combo is a flashing red warning light.
But is Passive Voice ever useful? Of course! You can use it to change the emphasis of your sentence, for example:
1. Passive Voice: Prince John was robbed of his gold by Robin Hood.
2. Active Voice: Robin Hood robbed Prince John of his gold.
In the first sentence, the emphasis is on Prince John. The second sentences emphasizes the sneaky hero, Robin Hood.
In your own writing, you'll have to decide where you want the emphasis to lie. Passive voice puts the spotlight in unexpected places and can create feelings of sympathy in your readers. Don't you feel sorrier for poor, bereaved Prince John in Sentence 1. than in Sentence 2.?
Still, don't overdo it. Passive voice distances your readers from the action in your story, making them feel like they're wading through molasses with cotton wool in their ears.
1. Passive Voice: Snow White was given an apple by the witch.
2. Active Voice: The witch gave Snow White an apple.
In Sentence One, Snow White is the subject of our sentence, but she's not doing anything except standing there (presumably with outstretched hand.) A sentence isn't very interesting if your subject doesn't do anything.
In Sentence Two, the subject of our sentence is now the witch. Snow White hasn't gone anywhere, she's just not our subject anymore. Since she wasn't doing anything, she had no business being the subject in the first place.
Here are a couple more Passive/Active pairs to help you get the concept into your brain.
1. The heavy shopping cart was pushed by the little boy.
2. The little boy pushed the heavy shopping cart.
1. Bob was helped down the steps by Rob.
2. Rob helped Bob down the steps.
If you want to improve your writing overnight, one of the best ways to do that is to change your Passive Voice constructions to active ones.
When proofreading your own writing for passive voice, look out for "He WAS something-ed BY something" constructions. The "was/by" combo is a flashing red warning light.
But is Passive Voice ever useful? Of course! You can use it to change the emphasis of your sentence, for example:
1. Passive Voice: Prince John was robbed of his gold by Robin Hood.
2. Active Voice: Robin Hood robbed Prince John of his gold.
In the first sentence, the emphasis is on Prince John. The second sentences emphasizes the sneaky hero, Robin Hood.
In your own writing, you'll have to decide where you want the emphasis to lie. Passive voice puts the spotlight in unexpected places and can create feelings of sympathy in your readers. Don't you feel sorrier for poor, bereaved Prince John in Sentence 1. than in Sentence 2.?
Still, don't overdo it. Passive voice distances your readers from the action in your story, making them feel like they're wading through molasses with cotton wool in their ears.
Published on June 03, 2020 05:52
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This, That and the Other
A sneak peek inside one Indie Author's brain...random thoughts, writing tips, book reviews, and more.
A sneak peek inside one Indie Author's brain...random thoughts, writing tips, book reviews, and more.
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