The Fiver | A steel-jacketed dose of perspective right up its elite pathway

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The Fiver has a dream. In it, the death of almost 400,000 people during a global pandemic leaves all survivors the gift of epiphany, after which they vow to give up public displays of vainglory. Oh, Fiver! Oh, Fiver! If anything, Covid-19 has increased participation in the nation’s favourite sport, the self. The lack of physical contact has created a blizzard of new opportunities to demonstrate the essential irrelevance of every other living thing. You don’t even have to wait for your turn to speak, or for your brain to boot up, like you did before lockdown. Alehouse inanity at digital speed!

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