Will I Make It Through Tomorrow?
I didn’t want to wake up.
But the bird outside wouldn’t shut up. I squeezed my eyes closed and put the blanket over my ears to see if I could cue another dream. Two minutes later, I rolled out of bed, frustrated, grumpy and slightly depressed.
My only saving grace was that it was 6:40 am and my kids would be asleep for another hour at least. So I headed upstairs to my office, resigned to leave my morning coffee for later. No need to make noise grinding coffee beans. Silence, my heart, and God were all I needed.
#Momlife was exhausting me. But so was #homemakerlife and #quarantinelife and all the other lives that I think I’ve lived in the last few months. Pent-up stress with no where to go. I was reaching a breaking point that was. not. good. Honestly, I wanted to stay in my office, stare out of the window at the trees, and not see a soul…for days.
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Practical Solutions that Seems Impractical
What do we do when our emotional gauge is so low that we feel like we are a glass vase about to shatter? Or a volcano about to erupt? When I reach a place in my emotions where Doug’s extra assistance, a weekend trip, and sleeping-in doesn’t help, I know that something deeper is going on in my soul. Usually I’m pretty good at dissecting the unseen parts of my being, but when I get a sense that “I’m close to a breaking point”, I know I need to tell someone who lives outside of my life.
1) Ask for Prayer.
I’m blessed to know a TON of prayer warriors. And if I didn’t have them, my church has a prayer help line. So my simple advice if you ever feel close to a breaking point is: phone a friend. A praying friend. A simple text is enough. Keep it simple: “I desperately need prayer because I am feeling (fill in the blank).”
The reason why I choose to ask for prayer first (versus texting “can we Facetime” or “Can I call you”) is this: when I talk to someone in this emotionally frayed state, I leave that initial conversation disappointed because I go into the conversation unconsciously expecting them to solve my problem.
Maybe it’s just me who does this, but when I am this low-which doesn’t happen often, but it does happen-I inadvertently make it someone’s job to get me out of my darkness. It’s totally unintentional. I don’t realize it until I feel the weight of disappointment settle on my shoulders after the conversation. The disappointment helped me realize that inwardly I’d hoped that they, friend or counselor, could “save” me from my despair. Maybe this has happened to you. Instead of feeling disappointed, perhaps you’ve gotten angry. Or confused. While emotional support and spiritual discernment is absolutely necessary when we are having a “dark night of the soul” day or season, no other human being can heal our souls. Note: I will always endorse professional counseling. If you are still sinking quickly despite the fervent prayers of faithful friends, then please pursue a professional counselor. Call a local church for recommendations.
Prayer does what a moment of practical help cannot, because it takes us to the only One that can truly bring us relief.
Prayer from a trusted friend reminds me of Mark 2:4. And when they could not come near Him because of the crowd, they uncovered the roof where He was. So when they had broken through, they let down the bed on which the paralytic was lying.
When we are frazzled, paralyzed in a mood, or emotionally depleted, we need others to take us to the feet of Jesus. We need them to carry us, through the act of intercessory prayer, to the place of healing and breakthrough.
Some people don’t understand how prayer and intercession actually works. Here is a super simple, one sentence analogy for prayer. (Please don’t be offended by the “commerce/store” aspect of my analogy. I do recommend the books: With Christ in the School of Prayer by Andrew Murray and Intercessory Prayer by Dutch Sheets for a thorough teaching.)
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Prayer is like driving your car to the store, buying what you need, and then going home.
Maybe that analogy doesn’t work for you. 
