I Carve (for the) Elderly

I am an unapologetic omnivore.
I always snicker when I hear someone refer to themselves as a carnivore, because they're always wrong. Carnivores only eat meat. Omnivores like me, and grizzly bears, and crows, and sloths, and rats, eat meat, berries, honey, the New York City subway system, old fish, greens, used bubble gum, expired gift cards, Visa statements...like that. Omnivores eat everything.
So I was in Deadwood, SD, earlier this month having a terrific time (I was asked to speak at...