Why We Hate

Hate has nothing to do with someone else. Hate comes from your own thinking. If the human race could grasp this understanding, things would get a whole lot better around here. To eliminate behavior (including poor performances) fueled by hatred, however, we must first recognize why, at times, we tend to think hateful or judgmental thoughts.

We are all prone to hateful thoughts from time to time; hateful actions—that's a different story.

Consider a person who has just been fired from a job. Odds are that his thoughts about his former boss will not be exactly kind. In fact, they may be downright rageful. But while it may look like these thoughts are due to the boss, these thoughts are actually the culmination or continuation of a pattern of thinking that began randomly. Not long ago, one negative thought led to another, and then to another. Pretty soon the person's mood and level of awareness was in the dumps—and the result: poor performance at work and, ultimately, termination.

What I am saying is that, in the above example, being fired is not the cause of the person's errant thoughts; being fired is a symptom of his errant thoughts. And this is an essential distinction to make. Why? Because those of us who blame outside factors for our wayward thinking (rather than looking inward), will have virtually no choice but to take our anguish out on the supposed cause—in this case, the boss. Test this for yourself. Think back to one of your most temperamental moments. Be honest. Was your volatile behavior the result of the situation (or person) you encountered, or your state of mind at the moment you encountered the situation?

Feelings of rage mean we are not seeing the world clearly; we must be still.

The truth is that one's hostile perception of any circumstance is the direct result of viewing it through the blurred vision of a low state of mind. It's got nothing to do with a boss or anything else. If we were seeing the situation clearly, while we might disagree with it, we wouldn't be feeling hateful, bound-up, or irritated in the first place.

So, the next time you are tempted to unleash your fury on another human being, remember this: Hateful thoughts will occasionally occur, but they are 100 percent self-created, arbitrary, and innocent. Thus, relief can only be found in the fact that we form our perception of others from the inside out—100 percent of the time.