Things I'm Absolutely NOT Interested in: a List

- Your detailed story about your problematic journey here. Just say you are sorry you were late. Maybe mention train delays or traffic but move on. NO ONE cares about the minutia. Literally no one.

- Your birth video. (Put it away, Karen)

- Small talk. (Oh my God. My version of hell is an endless cocktail party of small talk and no alcohol to ease the burdens of said small talk and also, its so so hot in this windowless cocktail party room, and also theres no ice in the non-alcoholic drinks...