Stuck in "Motherhood" Book? Get Un-Stuck!

Photo by Hanan Hashi on Unsplash

If you’ve picked this time during the pandemic of COVID-19 to read Motherhood-Is It For Me? Your Step-by-Step Guide to Clarity, you might find that you’re struggling to get through it.

When I hear from people that have been working through the book for a year, my heart cries a bit. The book is designed to take you through the clarity process in a few months. Co-author Denise L. Carlini and I did not design this process to linger on. Taking longer than six months to get through the book can make it more difficult and more likely to increase unnecessary anxiety.

If you’ve stalled, I’d like to help you get un-stalled with these suggestions:

1. Give yourself a break.

Do not underestimate the sluggishness you may feel due to the novel coronavirus. We are all on the same learning curve at the same time. The combination of the learning curve of shelter in place (if you have that), coming out of shelter in place, wearing masks, creating new routines, etc. and the back log of grief that this present-time pandemic is pushing forward will create havoc on a good day.

2. Skip an exercise.

No matter the reason you’re stuck, move on. It’s fine to skip the exercise or the writing prompt. Go on to the next exercise or assignment. You can come back later to the exercise that stopped you in your tracks. Letting go of it and moving on will serve you better than staying stuck and trying to think your way out of it, or worse, being mad at yourself for not being able to complete it.

3. Pick up the book at least twice a week.

It’s very easy to get disconnected from the process if you engage with Motherhood-Is It For Me? only weekly or bi-monthly. You may need to stay engaged more often, especially during these times when the world has suddenly changed and you’re on a learning curve of navigating your life and your feelings. I would engage with the book one way or another at least twice a week. One time a week can be for reading and another time during the same week can be for writing.

4. Listen to a guided visualization.

Don’t forget that thirteen guided visualizations are available for you to listen to for free. Co-author Denise L. Carlini recorded them as they are presented in the book. Going back to chapter one and listening to the first guided imagery called "Creating Comfort Within" may be enough to help you get back to the process.

A short, guided meditation on my Resources page, "Guided Imagery to Bring You Peace and Calm," may help you get back on track. Listen to it as often as you need.

And men, don’t forget: You can read the book as well. You’ll need to change some of the pronouns but the course that I take men through is the same core program.
 
© 2020 Ann Davidman

 Find Clarity in A Few Months

On sale through July 2020 for $3.99

"There is no agenda in the book. It is very personal to the reader and it is about the reader's own process. As you read it, it creates some space in a very crowded world of judgements, time pressures, expectations and all the other things that make it hard to think and feel clearly in relation to fertility."

~ Journal of Fertility Counseling, British Infertility Counselling Association

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