What does healing look like? ( To me )

Just the other night I was wrangling with a box of butter cookies. I had opened the box the wrong way, and all the cookies came spilling out onto the table. It was one of those nights where I felt restless, where the worries tend to pile up, but I despite myself, I let out a little laugh which surprised me. It made me think about my moment to moment responses and how I would have responded to it in a darker mood, which would probably have been a disproportionate sense of anger.

That made me think of what healing looks like for me. There are many things that I’m upset by, other people, both recent and not, and after a bit of reflection, I wrote these few things down in light of those thoughts.

1) Learning to cultivate a healthy belief in the self

2) An acknowledgement that there are very tiring hours and stormy moods in a day and the acknowledgement that it will pass.

3) Learning to acknowledge that I will not be understood by everyone

These 3 things are mostly notes to myself, and there are internal explanations that I don’t really have the energy to elaborate on, mostly because they involve the often complex, ambivalent feelings regarding people that have crossed paths with me.

These few months have led to more opportunities to confront the self, and to reflect, and sometimes to ruminate. The places that these thoughts lead me are on occasion, dark places, and they do keep me up till the late hours.

I hope some of these thoughts make sense to you, but if not- I wish you a good day, and hope you can feel a sense of solidarity with me through these trying times.