‘Acquainted with Isolation’: in Lockdown
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I’ve been acquainted with being on my own,
even when all around there was commotion –
on play fields, at lunch times, in locker rooms
I’ve been alone with myself – my thoughts.
In my mind there’s always constant dialogue,
so I don’t need external noise stimulants;
or the company of people hurling arguments
in trying to gain each other’s banal affirmations.
Yet I enjoy a sincere one on one conversation –
to listen to your soul as you do not your own;
for you’re not connected with your core
in trying to mask from me – or your soul!
Isolation has been a choice I’ve made in life –
yet try me, I’m deeply connected to this world:
for noisy, cluttered minds sink with judgement
in looking out to sea for lifeboats of validation.
My reactions to painful experiences in life –
have been as milk boiling over with froth:
even if it’s bubbling from my various facets
I don’t jump out – it settles on stoves of pain.
In trying to withstand life’s difficult situations
till I can stand the searing heat no more:
perhaps steaming in tears – I’ll calm down
and become immune to this virus for life.
There are times I’ve cooled my saucepan –
then someone recreates tough circumstances
to put me back on the heat of the stove:
but I sit through – if it’s worth the relationship.
After a point with close people I lose patience –
as with those I don’t care to waste my emotions:
so I cut off all their gasoline supply into my life,
to power off negativity – I disconnect their stove.
Company of people I seek only out of choice –
that’s what gives me self-assured strength:
for without the ability to tune inward to yourself,
loneliness will come visiting you for a lifetime.
Imposed isolation now is a medication for those
who do not choose it in fear they’ll be alone –
if they stand by their opposed self convictions,
to create formidable strength from deep within.
— Shuvashree Chowdhury
PS – This prose poem is the froth from the pan of my current novel I’m writing 
