boundaries
It’s Mother’s Day. I did my duty digitally yesterday, sending e-cards and gift certificates. I talked to my mom on the phone; we had planned a Zoom call but my sister’s dog is ill and no one wants to press her to show up online right now. I self-published a new book last week. There was a contest last year that I entered but didn’t win; I liked my entry, though, and so decided to make the book myself. The challenge was to create a story for kids age 0-3 years that celebrated the urban environment and helped caregivers promote language development. I don’t generally work with kids that age, but I knew the story had to be simple and I decided to make mine rhyme. My illustrator in Hong Kong told me it might take a while for her to finish the 8 illustrations because she now works full-time and takes freelance gigs on the side. Then Hong Kong erupted in political protests…and then the pandemic hit. She insisted she could keep working—that the book was a welcome distraction—and I tried to be reasonable about my revision requests. I started two picture book projects last year and I thought they would be done within a month or two; both have ended up taking much, much longer but I decided not to press either illustrator because they’re working as best they can under these conditions. And new books can’t be launched in the usual way—with a party at a bookstore or a signing at a book festival. Right now I’m just giving copies of ON MY BLOCK away to nonprofits and I’m happy just having it done. Here’s the summary:
A child shares their neighborhood’s best features by focusing on the sights, sounds, and scents on each block. Parks encourage urban wildlife, gardens add color and beauty, chalk drawings brighten the pavement, and different cultures blend in a single community. For very young children, their world is often only as big as the families and neighbors on their block, and these rhyming verses reflect that microcosm of urban life.
It’s Mother’s Day and the pain will be great for Ahmaud Arbery’s mother. There have been a number of police shootings lately, but the murder of a young Black man simply out for a run in Georgia has garnered the most attention because the killing was filmed. I had no interest in watching the video and appreciated a friend’s Facebook post reminding would-be allies that posting the video again and again retraumatizes many Black people who are already grieving. When I became a professor, my colleagues knew that I was doing research on lynching. But I had to set some boundaries because one White colleague thought it was helpful to leave photocopied images of lynch victims in my mailbox. It felt like he was saying, “Here’s one more for your collection!” It clearly didn’t occur to him that looking at those graphic images had an effect on me as a person. That finding one in my mailbox at the start of my work day might be painful or jarring. Every one has boundaries. Some folks are desperate to connect with others right now but be thoughtful, be gentle, and sometimes just be quiet.
Illustration from A PLACE INSIDE OF ME, illustrated by Noa Denmon.
